If only our hearts would listen to our heads or see what our eyes see, right? For lack of a better term: It really sucks that you have to live beside him. That makes everything so much harder. I also believe (from reading your other posts) you are experiencing health problems which I am sure does not make anything easier. You seem very strong, intelligent, and loving. You do deserve more. Tell yourself that out loud - it just may help.
What you are feeling is very human and you have no need to be embaressed, I bet you will inspire other women to reach our for advice. Biologically and historically women usually become very attached to their mate (bf, husband, lover, etc) and it's harder for us to pick up and get on with our lives as quickly as some males seem to do.
Just remember this will make you stronger in the end and you shouldn't feel bad about your emotions. If we try and deny our feelings they will cause more problems. There is no quick fix except friends and ice cream I guess.