She's My Sister....

[cornerofeden]

Well, she is finally at peace. It has been three weeks now since her passing. And more in the last few days reality has hit that she will not be at our yearly family gathering.
Debbie (I called her bro) was the very person who could walk into a room and within minutes have everyone laughing. She loved people and would put her feelings aside for others.
Even in her last year and a half of her battle she still kept up her spirits and was funny as usual. Though there were days you couldn't reach her; she was in so much pain that she had to be medicated.
My mother sat and held her hand many times while she watched a child of hers fading away. This is not right, it is not suppose to be that way!
The last 48 hours of her life she went into a sleep or coma. She was at home in her own bed where she wanted to be. My sisters and I took turns lying on the bed with her holding her hand and talking to her. She could here you but could not respond back. Her breathing was very labored. I remember Deb telling me her favorite Christian song was "Break Through The Chains In My Life" so while holding her hand I warned her I was going to sing this to her and there was nothing she could do about it; so she would just have to listen...lol. She blinked her eyes once.
Eventually everyone began showing up, so many people loved her. She took her last breath around 6 pm. Then it got very painful for everyone, her children, grandchildren, her husband, best friends, brothers, and sisters.
I am writing this because it was lung cancer that took her life. It eventually went to her liver then her brain. She had excruiting headaches towards the end.
This is for anyone who needs this to help them stop smoking. Don't allow your family to watch you slowing fade away to nothing. Keep trying to quit until you succeed. I know it is not easy, I too was a smoker many years ago, but my determination was much greater than the cigarette.
By the way, Deb always left a place leaving an impression and this time was no different. She left a beautiful letter for her family which was read at her service. And last week her daughter got a letter from her.
I miss her terribly and sometimes I try to forget. But this I do know. I will see her again someday. And when the family meets for two days at Camp Passcobec there will be pictures up of her We will love her forever and she will never be forgotten.
Thanks for reading this. I hope it helps someone...God Bless

[rhiley_08j]

Sorry to hear about your loss. I have been there several times, and feel your loss. Just remember she is in a better place now, free from sickness and pain, and you will see her again one day.

[magoosmomma]

So sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my mom to the very same thing.. Hugs and take care!

[Woofer]

i agree ,sorry to read about your loss, my younger *was 38* brother passed away last sept and it was hard. but life does go on, think of all the great memories you have had.

[inuit]

Big hugs and I am so sorry for your loss. Her passing is still quite recent and must still be painful. Time does lessen the pain.

Someone on one of those posts said something a little while ago that really stuck with me and I will pass it on to you. They said "after awhile you stop remembering that she died and remember more that she lived". I hope I haven't quoted it too far different. I found that helped me.

Hugs to you too Woofer and I am sorry for your loss as well. A year is a short time too. I'm sure he's never far from your thoughts or your heart.

I used to cry when I thought of my loved one but it's been 4 years now and when I remember her I smile and thank her for walking across my mind.

[sassyblond506]

A Letter from Heaven

To my dearest family some things I'd like to say
But first of all to let you know that I arrived today,
I'm writing this from Heaven. Here I shall dwell with God above
Here, there's no more tears of sadness. Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through
God picked me up and hugged me and He said "I welcome you,
It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone,
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly, you are part of my plan
There's so much that we have to do to help our mortal man."
God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do
And foremost on the list was to watch and care for you
And when you lie in bed at night, the days chores put to flight
God and I are closest to you . . in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth and all those loving years
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears
But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
1 wish that I could tell you all that God has planned
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand
But one thing is for certain though my life on earth is o'er
I'm closer to you now than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind
I'm walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind
And when it's time for you to go . . from that body to be free
Remember you're not going . . you're just coming here to me.


Copyright - Ruth Ann Mahaffey

[je12122]

So sorry for your loss....and sorry that I was never able to meet such a wonderful person. I do have one question, if you don't mind that is, How old was your sister? I am a smoker and I am seriously to the point I want to quit but find it so hard. I have a son that is 17 months old and I would never want to have him see me leave this world like that.

[cornerofeden]

she turned 59 in November. You are right, it is so hard but there is something harder ahead if you don't do it..If I could show you pics of her from November 2007 until her death in May 2008 you would be shocked and everyone that loved her had to watch her die. The death itself was a blessing for she suffered beyond words.

[puppyluv]

Corner,
*gentle hugs*. many of us share the loss of a loved one, and the circumstances never make ones grief more than anothers..sometimes more tragic, but always, always remember those smiles and hugs, gentle words and secrets you shared. Those will be what helps get you through this. I know your faith will help, becaue you will see your sister again. In her perfect wholeness.
Mom has been gone a year and a half, and there are days the family still grieves hard, forgets and thinks, I will call Mom, she will know. But even through those stinging tears, in my heart, I know she is better where she is. Pain free, cigarrette free, no tank beside her, and a heart filled with perfect love.
I don;t think time eases the pain, I think we just find other ways of dealing with it, other things come up and take over...but that doesn;t mean you ever forget, or stop missing them.
Both you and Bro have touched people you do not even know by your sharing of Bro's health and death..and we know there was a reason.


Blessings and peace........................Heather

[Bill Pettipas]

Jesus says he will give us peace that passes ALL understanding,I pray right now for you and your family to have that peace,Father I ask that you will comfort each and every one in a way the only you Lord can do..know that you all are in my heart and prayers.
Donna

[angelaa]

Sorry to Hear about Your Loss You Will be in My Prayers. My Brother passed away 3 Years ago but He is still apart of My Life Everyday. I always say to Myself when making a Big Decission "What would Doug say If he were Here" and He always leads Me in the right Direction, Your Sister will always be a Big Part of Your Life. Take Care.

[inuit]

My mother-in-law,whom I loved like the second mother she was to me has been gone since 1991 and there are days I miss her so much and wish she were here.And ,like Puppylove , for the first year or so after she died, I'd pick up the phone and even dial the number before I'd realize she wasn't there. I used to call her every day in the last two years of her life because she was ill and I worried about her.

Now it feels like history repeating itself.My Mom is 82 and quite ill. I just got back from visiting her up north.I call her every day too because I worry and she looks so sick and frail. I hope she'll be around a long while yet.

[cornerofeden]

inuit...so sorry to hear about your mom. And my sympathy to all who have lost a loved one. And thank you all for your encouragement, empathy and condolences.
My mom too is in her 80's and I didn't know if she would be able to handle the death of my sister. But I see her failing as well which is natural for that age but we certainly do not want to see the people we love suffer.