Supportive of breastfeeding?

[scuddles]

It is funny how people claim how supportive of women nursing their babies. My husband is supportive of me doing this, so he says. When we are home it isn't a thought, baby is hungry he just passes baby to me. WHen we are out he will always ask if I am going to take her to the bathroom to feed her, and gets nervous when I tell him no. I 've had friends do the same thing and
family.

They are so supportive until baby needs to feed outside of the house. When out with family family has asked if I brought bottles and formula to feed. Why would I waste my time sterilizing bottles, prepping formula, trying to find someway to heat it up, trying to keep it cold inbetween feedings? I always have milk readily available and at the right temperture, no fussing at all.

I have had friends tell me formula would make it easier for me to leave the baby to go out. I manage to go out just fine without her. I can leave some expressed milk for her incase I'm not back for her next feeding. No I can't go out and party it up all night long, but I don't think that has to do with me nursing. I think that is just part of responsible parenting, after all my baby is only 4 months old.

I find people are so supportive "of the idea", until someone they know actually decides this is best for them and baby. I don't understand it. Our culture seems to be so uncomfortable with women nursing their young unless they stay held up in their homes out of the public eye.

Since my daughter was born a few months back I have only ever seen one mother here nurse her baby in public.

I'm not suggesting that we throw it in peoples faces. I try to be as discrete as possible when out, but I won't hide away in bathroom or my car. JUst like all mohers I feed my baby when she is hungry, I have just chose to go the old fashhion way and nurse rather than formula.

Something I found via another forum. Interesting what the rest of the world thinks.

http://www.007b.com/public-breastfeeding-world.php

http://www.007b.com/public-breastfeeding-northamerica.php

[mother of 4]

I understand how you feel... but dont . I have a 41/2 month old daughter as well and when she is hungry i feed her and i dont go to the bathroom either because would you like to eat your meal in the bathroom ? I think not and there is no difference with a baby nursing or bottle. but you know what id like to hear other peoples thoughts on this subject?

[sarahnb]

Hey ladies. I'm sorry you feel this way. My youngest is 2.5 and still breastfeeding. Pretty much anywhere we go, I'll bf. The other two were bf until they were 22 and 27 months. Why? because there are weight issues on dh's side of the family, dh is diabetic and breast cancer runs in my family. My mother and grandmother have had it.
The Saint John Breastfeeding Alliance, http://www.sjba.ca/ ,is meeting tomorrow at 10 AM at the Family resource center on Wentworth St. We're a community group committed to gaining support in SJ for breastfeeding mothers. As well the playgroups at the Resource Center,http://frc-crf.com/saint-john/ , are breastfeeding friendly.

[babydoll101]

Thanks Sarah, I've been wondering if they had a website ;)

[dantan2]

If other people have a problem with it, then that is exactly what it is...THEIR problem. Your child comes first. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you are doing. If it makes someone uncomfortable, they don't have to look. When I nursed my children it took me a little while to get the hang of it so I could be discrete. But, once I had that all under control, people didn't even know what I was doing. Our society is very uptight when it comes to somethings and unfortunately, this is one topic that people want to hear about but not see. This is the way that God intended for our children to be nourished and if that is what you choose to do, then go for it. Don't let other people make you feel uncomfortable, it's their problem.

[sarahnb]

Forgot to mention that we will be Celebrating Breastffeding week in October. We usually hold the event at the resource center. Don't worry, I'll post details.

[puppyluv]

I do not have kids, but I will agree with the statement said by Motherof4..Would you eat your dinner in a bathroom? Not even remotely going to happen! Sounds disgusting doesn't it? As shown on thiss site, it is hard to get people to think about, let alone act upon washing their hands, and many bathrooms arent cleaned well.

[T4]

Breastfeeding is a NORMAL thing to do, when you are able to. There are SOO many neat feeding bibs, so that mothers don't have to go into washrooms to nurse their baby. I mean GROSS, I have a hard time having to take my coffee or pop into the washroom, so I try to drink it all first (legs crossed, lol) before I go in! It's just what society has become...anything that is normal has become abnormal

[scuddles]

Hey ladies. I'm sorry you feel this way. My youngest is 2.5 and still breastfeeding. Pretty much anywhere we go, I'll bf. The other two were bf until they were 22 and 27 months.

That is awesome. WTG girl!

That's another thing. Everyone knows that Health Canada recommends a MINIMUM of 6 months, so people assume that I will be weaning her at that time and don't get why I shouldn't or won't. They know that you can't take babies of off formula at that age and you don't have to explain over and over again why that is. I am so tired of trying to explain/educate people.

It is like they forgot that women have been nursing their young since the begining of our conception. It is obvious that human milk is best. If it was not then mankind would probably not have survived this long, or we would have evolved to be fed differently at birth. Unlike formula that has only been around for less than 80-100 years(?), and they are constantly trying to improve it. No one ever tries to mess with Mama's milk.

No I am not knocking anyone that formula feeds. I have in the past. (My doctor never brought it up, nor did the nurses or doctor when my oldest was born, I was handed a baby and a bottle,about an hour after her birth, and I never thought about it, doing it, to ask questions myself.) People do what they feel is best for them and their situations. And for some medical reasons (very,very few) women can't.

Sorry if this seems to be turning into a rant.....

[patbez]

I plan to breast feed in 4 months when I have my baby...not sure how long I'll continue to do it. I'll try to breast feed at least until my baby has teeth ;) But the women in my family seem to have a hard time, so we'll see.

I will certainly breast feed my baby in public, albeit discreetly. I def. see breast feeding as a natural thing, but I also think it's very special/sacred bonding time between mother & child & therefore don't like it much when I see someone not covering up their breasts when they do it. It's sort of like...it's natural for a young child to be naked running through a sprinkler in their own yard in the dead heat of summer, but there are people out their that might take advantage of something very pure, innocent & natural. Same goes with breast feeding...I don't want some creep looking at my child breast feeding during what should be a very pure & innocent act.

At my sister's wedding reception a few years ago I was glancing around the tables at the guests & noticed a woman breast feeding her son, her breast fully exposed. I didn't think it was very appropriate. I have no problem with someone discreetly breast feeding...but at a fancy, dress-up wedding reception? I don't know. It wouldn't have bothered me at all if she had a blanket over her...but I found it sort of disturbing.

[sarahnb]

The best way to ensure success is to educate yourself. So many doctors and nurses know diddly squat about breastfeeding. If you don't educate yourself, you won't know if they are giving incorrect information. La Leche League has monthly meetings if anyone is interested. i usually try and post them here. My biggest support has been online.
Blankets during nursing? they work for newborns but forget it once they are about 3 months. I know I don't like a blanket over my head.
Oh and as far as teeth. My kids all started teething between 4 and 6 months. Obviously we've gotten past any teeth issues.

[patbez]

I understand what you're saying sarahnb & although I agree that breast feeding is ultimately best for baby, I think every woman has to choose what's not only right/best for baby, but for herself as well. If a woman is in pain & agony when breast feeding & always upset...should she continue to breast feed? I think like most other things when it comes to parenting, it's a personal choice & I won't judge someone if they decide not to breast feed or not to breast feed for as long as someone else. I will apply that to myself as well. I'm not going to beat myself up if I can't breast feed or if I don't breast feed as long as someone else thinks I should.

I still think it's inappropriate to be uncovered while breast feeding in public. That's just my personal opinion & if I see someone doing it, I obviously look away/remove myself.

[sanstu]

patbez, whatever you choose for you and your baby is the right choice. If you are considering nursing, read every bit of info on the subject you can. If you know someone that was successful with nursing then use them as a resource, and someone to guide you. If you don't know anyone join a group. It is important to have support. Good luck with whatever you choose.

[scuddles]

I understand what you're saying sarahnb & although I agree that breast feeding is ultimately best for baby, I think every woman has to choose what's not only right/best for baby, but for herself as well. If a woman is in pain & agony when breast feeding & always upset...should she continue to breast feed? I think like most other things when it comes to parenting, it's a personal choice & I won't judge someone if they decide not to breast feed or not to breast feed for as long as someone else. I will apply that to myself as well. I'm not going to beat myself up if I can't breast feed or if I don't breast feed as long as someone else thinks I should.

I still think it's inappropriate to be uncovered while breast feeding in public. That's just my personal opinion & if I see someone doing it, I obviously look away/remove myself.

Your very right, every women needs to choose what is best/right for her and her baby.

Should a women continue to nurse because of pain? Before she gives up she needs to find out why there is pain. Ask for help. Pain is a sign of something wrong. Poor/ shallow latch? Poor positioning? Possible nipple damage from either of the first two? I had this problem (will heal over time). Or possible yeast infections? Blocked ducts? (Baby nursing can help clear a blocked duct)The first few days for us was awkward with out help getting her latched. Just when I thought I had it down pat,I ended up getting sore. Everytime a nurse would get her latched I couldn't even feel her there, it felt like I was just cuddling my baby.
Breastfeeding is natural, but it is something that you and your baby have to learn to do. I don't think I have ever heard of anyone not having some issue or other. For us it took a good 5-6 weeks before we both had things down pat. You should always seek out help, ask questions before giving up. If not you MAY regret it later by not looking at all possible solutions first. Those first few weeks can be very frustrating. I know.
As for covering up, I'm not comfortable having myself uncovered. And that all depends on what I am wearing, were I am at. Sometimes I use a recieving blanket, sometimes I don't have to. Some people can't cover their little ones. Personally I don't care if they do or not. A babies mouth covers more than some shirts out there.
If you can find other nursing moms past or present they can be your best supporters. There are a few really good sites online as well. I found the mother baby clinic had a few good clinics but can seem lecturing and are very pushy, not very opened minded (others may think differently). Talk to your doctor, I know mine was great with all of this, very supportive and helpful, without being pushy.
But in the end YOU have to do what YOU feel is best.

[patbez]

I'm not debating breast feeding by any means. I'm on the side that breast feeding is best for baby & should be done, whenever possible. I'm not uneducated on this issue, but further education will be received when I do prenatal classes. I just think some people push it too forcefully & although I think every mother should try whatever she can to be successful at breast feeding before simply giving up, I'm not one to say that breast feeding is a must & it's bad not to try & give it all you've got...each case is different, whether the mother is educated on breast feeding or not.

I'm not really looking for advice, although, thanks :)

I was just giving a slightly different take on things.

[sanstu]

I hope I didn't offend you patbez, as that was not my intention.

[patbez]

You didn't offend me sanstu.

I'm just stating, not to you, that an alternate view or opinion doesn't mean a person is soliciting/needs advice.

[sanstu]

Oh patbez, this is isaintjohn, one gets advice whether they ask for it or not.lol

[patbez]

I'm coming to learn that ;)

[FutureChief88]

Well good Luck ladies. I am 6 and a half months pregnant.. and because of the HUGE ordeal with my first daughter.. I have def decided not to pursue breastfeeding this time around.

I was well educated with my daughter.. but things are much much different when you actually do it. And my body is FULLY equipped for breast feeding! Trust me! i am leaking NOW.. REALLY bad! but with my daughter .. she just wasnt interested..
Too lazy and could never get a good latch. even after 4 week she hadnt returned to her birthweight.. and she had only lost 8%. It was soo frustrating and i felt so alone! Even tho i had support like you wouldnt believe. Plus.. the pump NEVER worked ! lol

I wish i could breastfeed..because it is definately what is best for a baby.. but to each his own.

But prepare yourself for the nurses if you decide against breastfeeding. A friend of mine just had a baby.. and breastfed for the first day or 2 and couldnt do it any longer.. The nurses gave her a really hard time.
That wont happen with me.. cause ill tear em a new one!

Either way.. good Luck Patbez with your baby.. and all you successful breastfeeding mothers.. Congrats!

[nanny]

I'm glad you decided to breast feed. I think too many mothers think of themselves, when they choose not to breast feed. A lot of mothers today just seem to want a break from their children, i don't get it. I breast fed and i never even thought of getting a break till they were older.
I enjoyed every day with them. Kids grow up so fast. Those family and friend members giving you a hard time are either selfish or not well educated in the importance of kids needs. The child always come first. This is only my oponion. I don't think breastfeeding after the age of two is required, or normal, again just my oponion.

[amclure]

I hope you continue to breastfeed wherever and whenever you want to!!
I have a almost 9 month old, and I would love to meet you. How about we go to the mall and breastfeed together!! I am sure I can find a few others to come with us. I sent you a PM with my email addy. I also belong to LLL and we are having a potluck Friday let me know if your interested.