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View Full Version : Why is Does it take so long to get a court date to take a deadbeat parent for child support?


Triple J
02-11-2008, 01:26 PM
When the deadbeat gets notice that ( he, she) is finally caught after 3 years of neglect ( they sue for custody of the child as retalliation. Why do they get a sooner court date than the original petition for support?

mybooboo
02-11-2008, 03:29 PM
I would think that the other parent cant be that much of a dead beat if they can get a custody hearing quicker,usually the only way to speed up custody hearings is if there is abuse and or neglect that is or may harm the children.

rhiley_08j
02-11-2008, 06:32 PM
When the deadbeat gets notice that ( he, she) is finally caught after 3 years of neglect ( they sue for custody of the child as retalliation. Why do they get a sooner court date than the original petition for support?


If the so called "deadbeat" was that much of a deadbeat than why in god's name would a court consider giving him/her custody. After 3 years of neglect, a court wouldn't give custody to the neglectful parent.

Pumpkin
02-11-2008, 07:00 PM
I don't quite get it myself.

But just because someone calls someone a "dead beat" doesn't mean they are unfit! In most cases, men or women are called dead beats because they take absolutely no responisibility for their child physically , and especially financially! So that is probably why he or she didn't have a hard time to get a court date, because they are not unfit, they are just useless!!

The reason the "dead beat" takes the other parent to court for custody is because they got busted, and figure well she/he got me stuck paying for the kid I might as well try and screw them by trying to take the kid away or make them look bad. They never bother with the court bit until they are caught. It's not even about the child for the "dead beat" it about revenge on the other parent for getting them stuck paying for the child and that's the very sad part of it!!

I have a few friends who have gone through this and it takes forever to get to court for the child support. And once everything is put in place and the parent has to start paying, you still get spun in circles trying to get the money half the time. Either because they haven't payed or because the system itself sucks and it takes forever to get from him/her to you!

The fact that the "dead beat" got a court date quicker than the parent seeking support probably doesn't have to do with anything. It doesn't mean that the parent seeking support is going to lose the child. It makes no sense to me, that they would get a quicker court date especially seeing as they already prooved that they have no ambition to do anything for the child or they would have from the get go. I am sure the courts will see that. The courts will not award anyone full custody of a child unless the custodial parent at the time is proven unfit. Atleast that's how I understand it.

And if the person who called for the custody hearing made any remarks to the effect of neglect, etc I think child services would probably have been at the custodial parents door, letting them know they had recieved complaints, and then an investigation would be performed. They wouldn't allow a child in danger to stay with someone until a court date is provided no matter how soon it was. Someone would have to look into it if it was that serious that the child should not be staying with the "dangerous" parent.

So this guy/girl and everyone alike are probably wasting our tax dollars or the courts dollars (whichever) over revenge for getting tagged in paying for the child they made...which is very sad also! How very sad it is!

Triple J
02-11-2008, 08:33 PM
If the so called "deadbeat" was that much of a deadbeat than why in god's name would a court consider giving him/her custody. After 3 years of neglect, a court wouldn't give custody to the neglectful parent.<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->
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exaclty.. althought i didn't say they got custody. I am just saying that it didn't take nearly as long as it does when you petition for support.

inuit
02-12-2008, 11:04 AM
What's really pathetic is that when some deadbeat parents get orgdered to pay they quit their job and either go on welfare and work under the table or just work under the table so there is no record of earnings. I know of at least 2 people who have done that. I wonder if they realize that the support order never goes away and that they will have to pay even if it is out of their old age pensions. The one thing the deadbeats fail to consider is that eventually the child/childern grow up and the deadbeats are left to explain to the kids why they never bothered to help care for them. 20 years go by in a flash.

Pumpkin
02-12-2008, 12:02 PM
Yes. I have heard of people doing that, and that is also very sad. I do agree!!!

nadia.m.
02-12-2008, 12:18 PM
The other parent may have gotten a faster Court date because they asked for a shorter amount of time for argument before the Court or because they happened to call when a matter settled, freeing up a space on the docket.

rhiley_08j
02-12-2008, 04:57 PM
It's funny that this subject has come up, a friend of mine just recently got custody of his two children from their mother. He is an excellent father and spends absolutely every possible moment he can with his children when he is not working. His ex was on welfare with the two kids and constantly left them in the care of her ex's parents. She would constantly try to paint the picture to others that the kids father was a "deadbeat" when there was nothing further from the truth. These kids absolutely idolize their father. Obviously someone who is not a deadbeat. Unfotunately he still loved his ex, and would let her walk all over him, and he would always come running when she needed him. Finally she demanded that he give her money for support, even though the kids were in his parents care 90% of the time, and he footed the bill. That became the straw that broke the camel's back, and than it became a point of showing why the kids were always with his parents. This is turn proved that the mother was unfit, and not properly caring for her children. Needless to say, the so called "deadbeat" was proven to be the more responsible parent, and was granted custody. So there is always two sides to a story, and just because someone says that a person is a deadbeat, doesn't make it true.

Triple J
02-12-2008, 06:28 PM
Finally she demanded that he give her money for support,


Wow how Dare She demand support. Imagine that an ex demanding support what is this world coming to.

Aynway the questions is why does it take so long to get support. I had to wait a year of going back and forth to the lawyers.

mybooboo
02-12-2008, 07:55 PM
Wow how Dare She demand support. Imagine that an ex demanding support what is this world coming to.

Aynway the questions is why does it take so long to get support. I had to wait a year of going back and forth to the lawyers.

yes imagine having an ex thats a gold digger and who has affairs while married!The kids are with the father now where THEY SHOULD be !!!

mybooboo
02-12-2008, 07:57 PM
Not all dads are the deadbeats!!

sanstu
02-12-2008, 08:07 PM
Wow how Dare She demand support. Imagine that an ex demanding support what is this world coming to.

Aynway the questions is why does it take so long to get support. I had to wait a year of going back and forth to the lawyers.

Only you know why you spent one year litigating this issue. The only one in a situation such as this coming out ahead would be the lawyers.

heres2u
02-13-2008, 07:25 AM
edit

inuit
02-13-2008, 08:38 AM
Deadbeat does not just mean paying money, although that's what most people think of immediately. It can also mean a non-custodial parent taking no intrest in the child, Not attending PTA meetings or bothering to see how the child is doing in school, not seeing the child on a regular basis, breaking promises to the child or just generally not bothering with the child. There is a hell of a lot more to raising children than just the few hundred bucks they shell out monthly. Sometimes the custodial parent go after more money out of fustration at the deadbeat because they seem not to care about their child. Don't all jump at once to say custodial parent will not let other parent see child because courts jump right on that and while waiting for courts to come through there is no excuse for not paying. As far as dad not working,no money ect.., what do moms do when they run out of money? They sacrfice and do without themselves to provide for their kids. I don't feel sorry when men have to do that once in awhile.

heres2u
02-13-2008, 12:42 PM
Sometimes the custodial parent go after more money out of fustration at the deadbeat because they seem not to care about their child.


That's my point exactly about some mothers only wanting $$$. Not directing at anyone in particular. I don't know any of you.


Everyone's situation is different and I'm not directing this to anyone in particular. If the childs father is paying and wanting to spend time with the child than they should not be classified as being a deadbeat. That is the main point I wanted to get across. I don't believe I ever read on isaintjohn a forum where a man was complaining about paying, its only fair they help out, I just happen to know a woman who claimed that her ex was a deadbeat but it was not the case at all. So I am very weary about woman who say that. I don't know you, you may have every right to say that but its said too loosely sometimes nowadays that's all.

heres2u
02-13-2008, 01:21 PM
Deadbeat does not just mean paying money, although that's what most people think of immediately. It can also mean a non-custodial parent taking no intrest in the child, Not attending PTA meetings or bothering to see how the child is doing in school, not seeing the child on a regular basis, breaking promises to the child or just generally not bothering with the child. There is a hell of a lot more to raising children than just the few hundred bucks they shell out monthly.

That's a good point that you made but in saying that I don't know to many men that go to PTA meetings that are married and we all make promises we don't keep and you know what?? sometimes my husband even forgets to brush my childs teeth before bed and doesn't put them to bed when I think he should but would that give me the right to keep my child away from him and call him deadbeat just because he isn't perfect. I don't think so. If that was the case my children would never know their father. It's unfair to do that just because the relationship between the man and woman didn't work out and that's what it boils down to in most cases. Once again some cases are different I'm not directing this to anyone in particular. Just giving my opinion.

mybooboo
02-13-2008, 01:49 PM
That's a good point that you made but in saying that I don't know to many men that go to PTA meetings that are married and we all make promises we don't keep and you know what?? sometimes my husband even forgets to brush my childs teeth before bed and doesn't put them to bed when I think he should but would that give me the right to keep my child away from him and call him deadbeat just because he isn't perfect. I don't think so. If that was the case my children would never know their father. It's unfair to do that just because the relationship between the man and woman didn't work out and that's what it boils down to in most cases. Once again some cases are different I'm not directing this to anyone in particular. Just giving my opinion.

Here Here!!!!I so agree with you i good friend of mine has been supporting his kids since the marriage broke up keeping his kids about 90 percent of the time while mom didnt work although more than capable and collected welfare for her and her kids.When her ex got a very good job with lots of money(and at this point mom very rarely saw her kids)she calls and asks him for money.He says for what you dont have the kids and you get welfare for them?She gets a bug up her butt and gets welfare to go after him for support.Mind you he was lucky and could prove how he provides for his sons.So when this happened he took her to court for legal custody since he had the boys anyway and she truely is not fit.Happy ending though is he has custody of his boys!!!

inuit
02-13-2008, 02:02 PM
Heres2u, I wasn't talking about fathers not attending pta's when they are married and the mothers go. I am talking about fathers who once they leave home couldn't be bothered ever picking up the phone and calling the school to see how their kid is doing. Some of them just assume mother will take care of everything in regards to the kids.

I am not talking about forgetting small insignificant things or breaking small unimportant promises. I'm talking about constantly breaking promises like promising to take kids somewhere or picking them up on weekend and then not showing up or bothering to call. Or meeting new girlfriend and all of a sudden she is far more important than the kids. I'm glad you and your ex get along so well as far as the kids go but many many people do not have that to rely on.

I never once said children should be kept from their father/mother, what I said was a lot of non-custodial parents seem to lose interest once they are out the door.

As far as fathers losing jobs and still having to pay for their kids then YES he should even if it means washing dishes. The children still have to eat wheather Mom, Dad has a job or not. If it meant the difference in your children eating tomorrow, would you not do whatever it takes to put food on the table?

inuit
02-13-2008, 02:15 PM
There are a lot of caring wonderful non-custodial parents out there who do all they can to stay in their children's lives. Those are not the ones who are called deadbeats. I can't believe there are so many non-custodial parents out there who actually refuse to pay child support or do anything they can to avoid it. My God, these are their kids. how can they possibly think they don't owe their kids, at the very least, support. I suppose some withhold money trying to get even with custodial parent. The ones they are really hurting is the children and their relationship with them.

heres2u
02-13-2008, 02:32 PM
Yes I completely agree that men should still be a part of their childs lives. I couldn't agree more. I'm not talking about deadbeat dads and I think you are. I'm speaking up for the men that do take part in their childs lives or at least try and do pay and want to spend more time only to find out the mother is telling everyone Oh poor me I have no help from the father. He's a deadbeat. For all those who are deadbeats I feel sorry for the children but unfortunately because some women do get upset over the little things I feel for those children as well since they make it difficult for the fathers to see their child. Children need their parents and regardless on some parents feelings towards each other that should come first. I don't really understand why when parents do split up the custody isn't 50/50 to begin with. That is what I don't understand about the laws. Fathers just don't seem to have much rights without the financial and emotional stress of court and I don't really agree with that. That's a whole different topic altogether though. I see your point of actual deadbeats but please know I'm not talking about them. Sorry if I confused you.

inuit
02-13-2008, 02:56 PM
Sorry Heres2u, I get too passionate about childrens issues. I agree with you, there are many wonderful dads out there. Custody should be 50/50. Unfortunately the most you hear about are the deadbeats, Sad, isn't it.

rhiley_08j
02-13-2008, 06:50 PM
Wow how Dare She demand support. Imagine that an ex demanding support what is this world coming to.

Aynway the questions is why does it take so long to get support. I had to wait a year of going back and forth to the lawyers.


You're right "how dare she". When the children are with him or his parents 90% of the time, why should she be entitled to recieve support? Besides in this case she didn't do it because she needed it, (welfare recipient) she did it out of spite and it back fired on her.