Do Grandparents really have any rights??

[shadoww]

I am hoping to find someone(grandparents) who has gone through getting visititation rights.

I have a son who has a daughter with a girl he has just broken up with, I believe she is not going to let us see the baby unless we make her legally. Has anyone here been through this or know anyone who has? What should we expect to have to deal with to set up visitation?

It is so hard when your child is the dad as dads just dont seem to have as many rights as a mother, even if they are better off with the dad.

[leeleemom]

I have to ask...does the father want visitation and/or joint custody?

[magoosmomma]

I think its harder to get visitation but possible

[shadoww]

We will try to get him to go for joint custody. He is not sure what he is doing yet this just happened a cpl days ago, she wants to get back togeteher with him and I know if he doesnt go she will not let us see the baby as punishment to all of us, so I feel we need to get right to it and start things rolling
We(the grandparents) want visitation and I want to know what we should expect to go through to make that happen.

[jillalex1911]

if they just broke up, it is way to early to make any rash decisions, just wait and see what happens because lots of people say they will never get back together and they do.

[The_Dave]

We will try to get him to go for joint custody. He is not sure what he is doing yet this just happened a cpl days ago, she wants to get back togeteher with him and I know if he doesnt go she will not let us see the baby as punishment to all of us, so I feel we need to get right to it and start things rolling
We(the grandparents) want visitation and I want to know what we should expect to go through to make that happen.

I recommend talking to a lawyer so you can get the real answers you need. On here, although very helpful at times, none of us are lawyers. Seek a professional. They will help better than we can. I hope everything works out for everyone as it is always the children that get hurt the most because they are used as pawns.

[shadoww]

We already have a call into a lawyer, waiting for a call back I was hoping to find someone here who has gone through it and could tell me what to expect.


For the record I too was a teenage mother, I would have loved if the fathers parents wanted contact with my son! How can a baby have too many people in their lives to love them?

[leeleemom]

I am a mother who has gone through this process. The grandparents do not have rights...legally. The mother would have to be proven to be extremely unfit and even then the father would have to step in. This is what your son HAS to do. First of all he has rights...any court will give him at the very least, every other weekend. At those times is when you would be able to see your grandson. The best first step for him to take is mediation. It is located in the Provincial Building on Charlotte Street and the # is 658-2400. They will be able to give your son all the info he needs to start the process. If that fails then it is court. But try mediation first. Just remind your son that no matter what his ex tells him...he does have rights. Yes she holds the power now but if she does not let him see his child it will not look good on her later. Most importantly your son may need to remind her that she has to think of her baby first and what is best for the baby and not use the baby as a pawn...or revenge.

[shadoww]

So the only way I can see my granddaughter is while my son has her for his visit??

[leeleemom]

So the only way I can see my granddaughter is while my son has her for his visit??

I am not saying that is the only way. If the mother allows it then you can. But for right now when everything is still so new and raw......... I am not a lawyer but just from what I went through and what information I have been given...yes for right now that is the only way. I would call mediation today....they can help. If you don't have to pay money out to a lawyer, you shouldn't.

[shadoww]

I will wait for the call back from the lawyer first.

I cant tell you how sad this makes me, that I may not get to see my granddaughter again.

I am sure eventually her mom will call for us to babysit, she likes to go out to the bars and party and we are the only ones that will babysit for her, her family wont. She will get bored sitting in the house too many weekends I am sure.

When people tell you, you are lucky to have boys they are full of it, at least if you have a daughter and have a grandchild there is no fear of losing the baby.

[dan j]

How can a baby have too many people in their lives to love
them?

there is a fine line between loving and intruding in on someone's family. if the father of your child's parents were always around and trying to change the way you were doing things you would not really consider that a good thing, i'm sure.

to answer your original question, i have no idea. my gut says maybe. ;)

[leeleemom]

Try taking a look at this...


http://legal-info-legale.nb.ca/showpub.asp?id=39&langid=1

[shadoww]

Thank you!

[wookiee]

So the only way I can see my granddaughter is while my son has her for his visit??

Yes you are correct. I am currently involved in my access/custody battle.
What ever time is rewarded to your son, thats the time you will have to see your grandchild. You cannot take the mother to court, even if you called her up on your own every week and asked to take the child for 2 hrs. If she says no..then its no. Now lets say if yuor son says no to you (I hope not) consistently, then you could take him to court for visitation rights.
The only way a grandparent could take the mother of your grandchild to court is, if you were looking to get custody, which grandparents can. But in your situation the father is around.

Tell your son to keep a daily log book of what she says. Tell him to only talk to her when he has a witness. Thats what I did...everytime. This way he can back up things that he has in his log book. Most custody battles are hear say...which will not benefit him. Prove that she might or is using the child as a pond to get back with him, if you can, then its good for your family.

Tell your son to do the log book on his ex, one on his child (like what he does with him/her daily, where they go, etc), meal schedule(what he feeds her), save email conversations (great to get proof on email)...be orginize! I can not stress gthis enough. It sounds like a lot to do and it is, but its important.
Now a judge will see that the father is truly involved and cares about the child. Also, be there if it goes to court...be there for him. show the courts how involved your family is cause belive it or not, that plays a factor in a judge making a decison on what time your son will get.

The court norms are every other weekend (over night if child is at least over age of 2) 1 day visit per week (could day or overnight stay). Holidays alternate, could get 1-3 weeks of vacation each year with child (most likley will get 1 wk..maybe 2). Yes he could get less then that, but i doubt it. unfit parents only get every other weekend.

If you want to knwo more..PM. I will help.

OH...tell him to inquire about a program calle "for the sake of the children".

[shadoww]

wow thats alot of useful information , thank you! I will pass it long to him!

[sanstu]

This is totally my opinion; in this situation "become Switzerland" (neutral), and stay that way. Let the child's mother know this and offer any assistance to her that you can. Let her know that both she and your grandchild are welcome in your home, and that it is important that a relationship with both is maintained, for the sake of your grandchild.

Remember the saying, "you get more bees with honey than with vinegar". Good luck!

[The_Dave]

This is totally my opinion; in this situation become "become Switzerland" (neutral), and stay that way. Let the child's mother know this and offer any assistance to her that you can. Let her know that both she and your grandchild are welcome in your home, and that is important that a relationship with both is maintained, for the sake of your grandchild.

Remember the saying, "you get more bees with honey than with vinegar". Good luck!

Now that is great advice.

[mizunderstood]

sent u a pm shadoww

[sanstu]

Now that is great advice.

Thanks! :D

[FutureChief88]

Very true..

Even if the girl is not trying to be vindictive.. You feel like the other parties will be. I was on the other end of the stick.. being the mother and breaking up with the Father. He actually left me.. and i wanted to be with him as well.. His parents were great! I was worried about talking to them.. or calling.. cause we were apart.. but we were always close while him and i were together. Anyways.. they stayed very neutral.. and we never talked about the situation.. they came to see my daughter.. and took her every now and then.. But sometimes these peopl assume that you (the grandparents) are going to hate them.. and like in my situation.. I just figured they were "pretending" to be nice to me cause i was his girlfriend.. Turns out they were.. LOL.. but it was nice that they faked it for a while.

But as far as rights.. no grandparents dont have any.. And again.. from experience.. I wouldnt let my daughter go anywhere.. not to be a horrible b**ch.. but because people threatened to take her from me.. and once the child leaves your possesion (not that they are possesions), they are a free game to the father..

He threatened to take her from me.. and there would have been nothing i could do about it.. Until it went to court...and to me that was too long for her to be in an unstable situation.. so i kept things very close.

Just try and be friends .. or fake it. whatever you have to do
Good luck :)

[christine chittick]

they are a free game to the father..




They are not free game to the father as long as there is court documentation stating that the mother has full custody of the child. The only way they are "free game" is if there is nothing stating who has full legal custody of the child.

As for grandparents, best thing to do is stay neutral. Offer to take the child for a couple hours, but don't pressure her. Let things go for now, you never know, the parents may end up back together. If it doesn't give it a couple months and see how things are before jumping in and pushing things on the child's parents. You could be making a bad (if it is bad) situation much worse.

[FutureChief88]

Sorry i wasnt extremely clear i guess.. No we didnt have anything in writing.. as i am sure these people done seeing how they JUST split up.. But no .. if there is documentation.. you are fine..

[The_Dave]

Sorry i wasnt extremely clear i guess.. No we didnt have anything in writing.. as i am sure these people done seeing how they JUST split up.. But no .. if there is documentation.. you are fine..

I knew what you meant. I thought it was obvious.

[FutureChief88]

I knew what you meant. I thought it was obvious.

I thought it was too.. but apparently Not.. LOL :confused:

[christine chittick]

Sorry I misread your post, I was just trying to make it known to people who dont realize that if there is court documentation the other parent cannot just keep the child(ren) or take them. I wasn't directing my post towards you.