Parents!!!

[cuddles2007]

I have a 8 month old baby and he is usually in bed every night at 630-730 at night . and i dont have him outside after supper time . i was outside with a cousin of mine and i saw soo many babies who were either younger or a little bit older than mine still outside . the girl who lives across the road from me has her baby outside until 11-12 at night! its crazy even when i was 10 i was in bed by 7-8 at night. I will NOT for any reason unless my son HAD to go outside after 7 at night take him outside . i dont see alot of older people with kids doing this but it is the younger ones. Its not all younger parents but i see Alot of them doing this . The way i see it is if you want to hang out with your friends then tell them to go to your house after a sertin time , dont take your child out when you know he/she will be sleeping !:mad: it makes me mad sometimes !

[StephRan]

I don't understand what the big deal is really. My son is 17 months and I let him outside past 7:00pm. And no, it's not so that I can hang out with friends; They usually have other things to do..work etc. Why confine a child to the indoors at 7:00pm on a beautiful evening when they could be outside getting fresh air and having fun? I've never hesitated to take my son out after this time; at 7:00pm this time of year he loves to be in our private back yard playing on his slide, tonka trucks, or whatever the toys may be. And...he can still get a full night sleep.

[ourkidsrcute]

,,

[shy]

I agree with you cuddles! I'm a young single mother and i have a 5 year old and she in bed around 7:30 at night.there are parents around were i live that is around the same age as me and i see that all the time,it up sets me to but what can you do.maybe be there are parents out there that keep then up late so they can sleep in longer!! my though...

[mommyd]

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[Mandi]

um, this is ridiculous.
my son for instance.. who is 4, will not go to sleep until 8:30-9pm.. it's just how he works.. doesn't matter what we do during the day. He sleeps until about 7:30-8am.. and he is never tired throughout the day. And yes sometimes we go out and not come home until past 7pm..
Every kid is different. You think being out past 7pm is Late.. well i don't think that after 7 is late.. does that make me a bad parent.. heck no!! get over yourself. And why are you judging parents on the fact they are out past 7pm with their kids? Don't we judge each other about ENOUGH in this world!?

I think you're missing the point here. I don't think making a public thread about it is important, but I think what she is really getting at is... Some people keep their children out of bed until 10 or 11 at night, just so they can hang out with their friends, not so the kids can play.

[ceg]

It can go both ways. I know kids that won't sleep until 10 pm or later and their 5 and under.

I also know some people who didn't want to completely adjust their lives when they had kids, so they adjust certain aspects of the kids lives to fit their own.

[suesguy]

All children need structure. I raised 3 children ,2 girls and a boy. They all had bed times that progressed as they matured. Sure at first they did not want to go to sleeep but it did not take long for them to adjust. That is a BIG problem today...no structure, or rules. Let the kids rule the house...play viDeo games until midnight, watch tv, run around the neighborhood etc...kids need to know there are rules and who is the boss in the house....plain and simple.Try to be a parent, not a friend.

[mizunderstood]

both of my kids (3 year old son and 21 month old daughter) are in bed and asleep by 7pm every nite. My daughter goes to bed at 6pm, my son goes at 630-7pm. THey both wake up at 730 am. They have been like that since the day they were born. I had them in a routine by the time they were 2 weeks old. But I understand that some people are not like that and that is fine, but I do agree with the original poster that A LOT of people keep their kids out late just so they can spend time with their friends and then they wonder why the kids are cranky, or sassy.

[Cherry Pop]

I use to put my daughter to bed around 7:00-8:00 but as she got older she wouldn't go to sleep until really late even though she was in bed at 7-8. It got to the point that I would put her to bed at that time and she would still be awake at 12-1 am!! It was crazy but she just couldn't go to sleep. So I decided to start putting her to bed an hour later inbetween 9-10 and it works. She now goes to sleep right away no problem. She is 9 years old though so a bit older than what this thread is about. However when she was a baby I put her to bed around 7 pm but if we were visiting friends or relatives I would put her to bed a little later such as 9 or 10. This would have been a rare thing but once in a while I don't see a problem with it.

[trinity]

I started staying up til midnight when I was 10, and never had a problem getting up at 7;15 for school. I have always been a night owl. I had to be indoors by 8:00 though. I guess I wonder what it matters if you sleep 8 pm to 7 am or 11 pm to 10 am?

[suesguy]

The First 6 Months
There is no sleep formula for newborns because their internal clocks aren't fully developed yet. They generally sleep or drowse for 16 to 20 hours a day, divided about equally between night and day.

Newborns should be awakened every 3 to 4 hours until their weight gain is established, which typically happens within the first couple of weeks. After that, it's OK if a baby sleeps for longer periods of time. But don't get your slumber hopes up just yet — most infants won't snooze for extended periods of time because they get hungry.

Newborns' longest sleep periods are generally 4 or 5 hours — this is about how long their small bellies can go between feedings. If newborns do sleep for a while, they will likely be extra hungry during the day and may want to nurse or get the bottle more frequently.

Just when parents feel that sleeping through the night seems like a far-off dream, their baby's sleep time usually begins to shift toward night. At 3 months, a baby averages 5 hours of sleep during the day and 10 hours at night, usually with an interruption or two. About 90% of babies this age sleep through the night, meaning 6 to 8 hours in a row.

But it's important to recognize that babies aren't always awake when they sound like they are; they can cry and make all sorts of other noises during light sleep. Even if they do wake up in the night, they may only be awake for a few minutes before falling asleep again on their own. It's best if babies learn early to get themselves to sleep, so let your baby try.

If a baby under 6 months old continues to cry for several minutes, it's time to respond. Your baby may be genuinely uncomfortable: hungry, wet, cold, or even sick. But routine nighttime awakenings for changing and feeding should be as quick and quiet as possible. Don't provide any unnecessary stimulation, such as talking, playing, or turning on the lights. Encourage the idea that nighttime is for sleeping. You have to teach this because your baby doesn't care what time it is as long as his or her needs are met.

Ideally, your baby should be placed in the crib before falling asleep. And it's not too early to establish a simple bedtime routine. Any soothing activities, performed consistently and in the same order each night, can make up the routine. Your baby will associate these with sleeping, and they'll help him or her wind down. You want your child to fall asleep independently, and a routine encourages babies to go back to sleep if they should wake up in the middle of the night.

6 to 12 Months
At 6 months, an infant may nap about 3 hours during the day and sleep about 11 hours at night. At this age, you can begin to change your response to an infant who awakens and cries during the night.

You can give babies at this age 5 minutes to settle down on their own and go back to sleep. If they don't, you can comfort them without picking them up (talk softly, rub their backs), then leave — unless they appear to be sick. Sick babies need to be picked up and comforted. If your baby doesn't seem sick and continues to cry, you can wait a little longer than 5 minutes, then repeat the short crib-side visit.

After several days, your baby should find it easier to get back to sleep on his or her own. But if your 6-month-old continues to wake up five or six times each night, talk to your doctor.

Between 6 and 12 months, separation anxiety becomes a major issue for some babies and may cause them to start waking up again. But the rules for nighttime awakenings are the same through a baby's first birthday: Don't pick up your baby, turn on the lights, sing, talk, play, or feed your child. All of these activities encourage repeat behavior.

If your baby wakes up crying at night, you can check in to make sure he or she isn't sick or in need of a diaper change. You can pat your child lovingly on the back or belly. Using a pacifier or thumb sucking can also help children of this age learn to calm and reassure themselves. If your baby continues to cry, you can institute the 5-minute visit pattern.

1 to 3 Years
From ages 1 to 3, most toddlers sleep about 10 to 13 hours. Separation anxiety, or just the desire to be up with mom and dad (and not miss anything), can motivate a child to stay awake. So can simple toddler-style contrariness.

Note the time of night when your toddler begins to show signs of sleepiness, and try establishing this as his or her regular bedtime. And you don't have to force a 2- or 3-year-old child to nap during the day unless yours gets cranky and overly tired.

Parents sometimes make the mistake of thinking that keeping a child up will make him or her sleepier for bedtime. In fact, though, kids can have a harder time sleeping if they're overtired.

Establishing a bedtime routine helps kids relax and get ready for sleep. For a toddler, the routine may be from 15 to 30 minutes long and include calming activities such as reading a story, bathing, and listening to soft music.

Whatever the nightly ritual is, your toddler will probably insist that it be the same every night. Just don't allow rituals to become too long or too complicated. Whenever possible, allow your toddler to make bedtime choices within the routine: which pajamas to wear, which stuffed animal to take to bed, what music to play. This gives your little one a sense of control over the routine.

But even the best sleepers give parents an occasional wake-up call. Teething can awaken a toddler and so can dreams. Active dreaming begins at this age, and for very young children, dreams can be pretty alarming. Nightmares are particularly frightening to a toddler, who can't distinguish imagination from reality. (So carefully select what TV programs, if any, your toddler sees before bedtime.)

Comfort and hold your child at these times. Let your toddler talk about the dream if he or she wants to, and stay until your child is calm. Then encourage your child to go back to sleep as soon as possible.

Preschoolers
Preschoolers sleep about 10 to 12 hours per night, but there's no reason to be completely rigid about which 10 to 12 hours they are. A 5-year-old who gets adequate rest at night no longer needs a daytime nap. Instead, a quiet time may be substituted. Most nursery schools and kindergartens have brief quiet periods when the children lie on mats or just rest.

A 5-year-old child may still have nightmares and trouble falling asleep some nights. You can prepare a "nighttime kit" that includes activities to pass the time and relax your child. It might include a flashlight, a book, and a cassette or CD player and story tape or CD. Use the kit together, then put it in a special place in your child's room where he or she can get to it in the middle of the night.

School-Age Children and Preteens
Kids ages 6 to 9 need about 10 hours of sleep a night. Bedtime difficulties can arise at this age from a child's need for private time with parents, without siblings around. Try to make a little private time just before bedtime and use it to share confidences and have small discussions, which will also prepare your child for sleep.

Children ages 10 to 12 need a little over 9 hours of shuteye a night. But it's up to parents to judge the exact amount of rest their children need and see that they're in bed in time for sufficient sleep.

Lack of sleep for kids can cause irritable or hyper types of behavior and can also make a condition like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) worse.

Teens
Adolescents need about 8 to 9.5 hours of sleep per night, but many don't get it. And as they progress through puberty, teens actually need more sleep. Because teens often have schedules packed with school and activities, they're typically chronically sleep deprived (or lacking in a healthy amount of sleep).

And sleep deprivation adds up over time, so an hour less per night is like a full night without sleep by the end of the week. Among other things, sleep deprivation can lead to:

decreased attentiveness
decreased short-term memory
inconsistent performance
delayed response time
These can cause generally bad tempers, problems in school, stimulant use, and driving accidents (more than half of "asleep-at-the-wheel" car accidents are caused by teens).

Adolescents also experience a change in their sleep patterns — their bodies want to stay up late and wake up later, which often leads to them trying to catch up on sleep during the weekend. This sleep schedule irregularity can actually aggravate the problems and make getting to sleep at a reasonable hour during the week even harder.

Ideally, a teenager should try to go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning, allowing for at least 8 to 9 hours of sleep.

Establishing a Bedtime Routine
Here's a summary of a few ways that may help your child ease into a good night's sleep:

Include a winding-down period in the routine.
Stick to a bedtime, alerting your child both half an hour and 10 minutes beforehand.
Allow your child to choose which pajamas to wear, stuffed animal to take to bed, etc.
Consider playing soft, soothing music.
Don't give your baby or toddler a bottle (of breast milk, formula, or any sugar-containing drink) to aid sleep. This can cause a serious dental problem called "baby bottle tooth decay" because the fluids tend to pool in the child's mouth.
Tuck your child into bed snugly for a feeling of security.
Encourage your older kid or teen to set and maintain a bedtime that allows for the full hours of sleep needed at this age.
There isn't one sure way to raise a good sleeper, but every parent should be encouraged to know that most children have the ability to sleep well. The key is to try, from early on, to establish healthy sleep habits that may last a lifetime.

Reviewed by: Barbara P. Homeier, MD
Date reviewed: December 2004

[redsheila2006]

There is nothing wrong with putting your child to bed early or too late if you are doing it for the right reasons.What I mean by this is that people often put their child to bed so ealy and wonder why they get up in the middle of the night or very early in the morning. It is because they are getting too much sleep.It would be hard to expect a child who is put to bed at 6:pm or 7PM to sleep until 7am or 8 am the next day. Some people do it because they feel the child needs sleep and others do it because they want that time for themselves. The same thing applies to people who keep their children up late so that they will sleep in the morning.The question is are you doing this for the child or for yourself??

[Pumpkin]

I have seen mom's bringing their babies to the bars outside on the boardwalk at 10 at nite and later. I am wondering why the bars would allow this to even go on. An infant in a busy patio bar where they are serving alcoholic drinks..... where do people come up with these ideas? Do they have no brains at all?

[leeleemom]

I have a 8 month old baby and he is usually in bed every night at 630-730 at night . and i dont have him outside after supper time . i was outside with a cousin of mine and i saw soo many babies who were either younger or a little bit older than mine still outside . the girl who lives across the road from me has her baby outside until 11-12 at night! its crazy even when i was 10 i was in bed by 7-8 at night. I will NOT for any reason unless my son HAD to go outside after 7 at night take him outside . i dont see alot of older people with kids doing this but it is the younger ones. Its not all younger parents but i see Alot of them doing this . The way i see it is if you want to hang out with your friends then tell them to go to your house after a sertin time , dont take your child out when you know he/she will be sleeping !:mad: it makes me mad sometimes !

I have 3 kids my youngest being 9 months old. He doesn't go to bed for the night till between 9 and 10pm. That is his sleep schedule. I would love for him to go to bed earlier but..... I see no problem with having him out after supper. Taking a walk to get some fresh air never hurt any kid. Yes I do go to visit my friends or family at night and I bring him...no big deal. It is not gonna hurt him every once in a while to fall asleep in his car seat or stroller. Now I agree as kids get older they need a set bedtime but a baby sleeps when they want and until they get on a schedule(naps at certain times,sleeping through the night)you have to work around them.

[suesguy]

Absolute nonsense, after the infant stage YOU set the sleep schedule, not the child. They require a lot of sleep to be healthy. Too often parents give in. I raised 3 children and never had them up late...we went home or had a reliable babysitter. how long do you let them sleep in the stroller or car seat?..until your ready to go ? This is just excuses because it inconviences your life...you had them, you take care of them properly...you have a duty to try and raise healthy, productive adults... You should not be taking and keeping little kids out late at night...period. Set some rules and guidlines..jeez no wonder most of todays kids have no respect for thier elders..they learn it at home.

[StephRan]

What is the lien between children staying up after super and not having respect for elders?:confused:

[suesguy]

because, the parents let them rule the house..stay out, stay up etc..and they know if they but up a fuss, they'll get they're way...as they get older it will continue. The BIGGEST mistake you can make with children is telling them something and not following through..then they know you don't mean what you say.

[poohbear68]

yeah i know what you mean the girl that lives in the nexted court from me and she has 3 kids ages 2,5,10 and she goes to her friends house and stays out until 12:00 midnight and walks down the northend on talyor ave located in the blvd and she walks home with them when they should be in bed at a reasonable hour it maakes me mad and she gets away with it

[FutureChief88]

Children require a certain amount of sleep.. And every child should have a bedtime.. Which progresses as they get older. My daughter is 4 .. almost 5.. starts school on wednesday. She goes to bed EVERY night no later that 730. EVERY night! No fuss.. no nothing.. because she knows its BEDTIME. When she was a baby.. i had a hard time setting a sleep routine.. but you HAVE to! . I have a good friend.. who has a little guy that is 4 and still up at MIDNIGHT, playing and eating and whatnot, and believe me.. he has NO respect for his mother.. because as someone said before, she doesnt mean what she says.. and she expects him to listen to her when they are out, or in public or whatever./ Children are VERY receptive.. and they pick up on your way of thinking very quickly. The whole point of a childs brain, ( i am sure LOL), is to figure you out so they can manipulate you. You have to be persistent, and consistent. EVERY time! Saying that your 10 month old child's bedtime is just at 11 at night is rediculous. YOU are the parent and YOU set the rules. I truely believe that parents that say" u kno.. well they are just like that.. or thats how they have always been" is just an excuse for being VERY very lazy. I have an EXCELLENT 4 year old daughter who i very respectful of me, minds what i tell her with very few second thoughts, and trusts me. Children dont come that way.. you have to make them into these kind of people.

As far as the bedtime goes. They need their sleep, for growth and development. But a night out here and there is not a huge deal. Remember when we were kids and we got to stay up that bit extra longer.. But it still should not be any 11 at night!
But thats just my opinion.

[leeleemom]

Absolute nonsense, after the infant stage YOU set the sleep schedule, not the child. They require a lot of sleep to be healthy. Too often parents give in. I raised 3 children and never had them up late...we went home or had a reliable babysitter. how long do you let them sleep in the stroller or car seat?..until your ready to go ? This is just excuses because it inconviences your life...you had them, you take care of them properly...you have a duty to try and raise healthy, productive adults... You should not be taking and keeping little kids out late at night...period. Set some rules and guidlines..jeez no wonder most of todays kids have no respect for thier elders..they learn it at home.

No not nonsense at all. Yes I had them and I take very good care of my children! I take offence to you saying that my children are "inconveniences" in my life! What is wrong with going to visit someone every once in a awhile? Nothing at all! I have 3 children myself and my 2 older one have set bedtimes and they have no problem with them. You can't tell me that my 9 month old isn't healthy! He has a very poor sleep schedule. I am and have been working on it with him for a long time(with the advice of my dr). I do not give in to him...I am up with him several times through the night. Also the comment of having no respect for their elders...what does that have to do with this?As fo letting him fall asleep in the carseat or stroller...you can't tell me that your children never fell asleep in them! I have seen many parent have to take them out for a drive in the car just to get them to sleep. What is wrong with that?? Maybe you were lucky and had 3 kids who fell into sleep schedules easy but a lot don't. I do what I can and I am a good mother and I have good kids. I am not saying I agree with having your kids out all the time late at night. I am just saying that having them (babies) not allowed out after supper is a little excessive.

[Flaxie]

I have seen mom's bringing their babies to the bars outside on the boardwalk at 10 at nite and later. I am wondering why the bars would allow this to even go on. An infant in a busy patio bar where they are serving alcoholic drinks..... where do people come up with these ideas? Do they have no brains at all?


This comment brings back sad memories for me. I knew the parents of a certain toddler who was killed through neglect in this city. They would leave their first child outside Roadrunners when he was an infant. I was horrified, but I didn't do anything and then I moved away. I was visiting Saint John again when the story was all over the news. I felt so ashamed!
Hind site is 20-20. If you see this sort of behavior going on report it to family and community services. It may just save a life.....

[avaadore]

My parents were always very strict about me being inside by 7:30 or 8 when I was a kid..I don't think it really changed until i was about 12?or so?
haha
I agree with it
Kept me out of trouble, and made sure I had enough sleep.

[avaadore]

This comment brings back sad memories for me. I knew the parents of a certain toddler who was killed through neglect in this city. They would leave their first child outside Roadrunners when he was an infant. I was horrified, but I didn't do anything and then I moved away. I was visiting Saint John again when the story was all over the news. I felt so ashamed!
Hind site is 20-20. If you see this sort of behavior going on report it to family and community services. It may just save a life.....

Incredibly powerful story. Thanks for sharing.

Things are often just as horrible as they look...People need to realise that

"Am I my Brothers Keeper?"

[Corinne]

My child is a very happy bright little girl at 15 month old. She goes to bed between 9-10 and wakes up around 7-8. We go out many evening for walks or to get groceries and such and I hate to think that I would be judged a bad parent for having my child out past supper. Infact most people work a 9-5 kind of a job and by the time they get home, get their dinner cooked and have time to enjoy their children it is well into the evening. I would much rather have some time with my child through the evening then to put them to bed at 6 or 7. I dont agree with children being out late into the night, but lets not judge people so much...what works in one household might not work in another.

[leeleemom]

My child is a very happy bright little girl at 15 month old. She goes to bed between 9-10 and wakes up around 7-8. We go out many evening for walks or to get groceries and such and I hate to think that I would be judged a bad parent for having my child out past supper. Infact most people work a 9-5 kind of a job and by the time they get home, get their dinner cooked and have time to enjoy their children it is well into the evening. I would much rather have some time with my child through the evening then to put them to bed at 6 or 7. I dont agree with children being out late into the night, but lets not judge people so much...what works in one household might not work in another.

Well said Corinne!!

[MezMaRi]

I dont think they were neseccarily meaning people in your situation. Children need routine. You clearly give your child a routine, you work 9-5, dinner, clean up, time with baby, errands, bedtime!!!! Even if it comes a little later it is still routine and your child is getting the recommended amount of sleep. I truly think they arent judging "all" and just meant THOSE who take their children out at all hours of the night with no routine or consideration for their child's rights!!!! Dispicable and somewhat inhumaine if you ask me!!!!!!!!

Dont take it personally. :)

[suesguy]

Exactly MezMaRi, I was not "bashing" everyone who keeps their children out occasionaly. But, there are a lot of them that do and not just toddlers. I see 10 and 12 year olds on the bus for the last trip (around midnight). I was walking and heading out east just the other night and decided to take the short cut to Sandy Point Rd, from Tim's in the plaza and saw at least a dozen small kids running around unsupervised...it was 10:30 pm. I had not walked down through that neighborhood for a long time...now I remember why. Aside from personal safety, it is the sad feeling I get watching all these innocent 3 and 4 years olds left to fend for themselves while I see the "parents" partying it up. That is what I am referring to. In my opinion, those children are just a source of income, most will grow up and repeat the same choices as that is what they are shown...all they know...a real shame.

[sanstu]

I have found this thread to be interesting. Most that are posting are attempting to defend their decision keep their young child up.(later then the norm) What about the child? Doesn't the child have the right to be in bed at a reasonable time? Doesn't the child have the right to be able to wind down quietly after a long and busy day of activity?(most often in daycare or with a sitter)Doesn't the child have the right to have a schedule that is predictable and addresses his/her needs? Quality of time with the child is what counts, not quantity of time.

www.drpaul.com/behaviour/sleep.html (http://www.drpaul.com/behaviour/sleep.html)
Sleep chart for children.

[suesguy]

I already posted a doctors advise on sleep for all ages of children...I don't think those that keep their children out late did, or will read it. It just seems to me (my OPINION)...that once you have a child , your primary concern should be for that child...not taking them with you while visiting friends at night. not saying not to go out..just find a solution that benifits the child like a baby sitter, instead of leaving them sitting in stroller or car seat. Or, even worse when they get to be toddlers. I'm not talking about them falling asleep in them, i mean purposely letting them sleep in them for hours , just so you can be out with your friends. If you are willing to risk pregnancy, you have take responsibility. In most cases( not all) if you have a child that will not sleep regular hours it is because they were never made to. As I mentioned before, it is up to you as a parent to keep them healthy.

[suesguy]

My child is a very happy bright little girl at 15 month old. She goes to bed between 9-10 and wakes up around 7-8. We go out many evening for walks or to get groceries and such and I hate to think that I would be judged a bad parent for having my child out past supper. Infact most people work a 9-5 kind of a job and by the time they get home, get their dinner cooked and have time to enjoy their children it is well into the evening. I would much rather have some time with my child through the evening then to put them to bed at 6 or 7. I dont agree with children being out late into the night, but lets not judge people so much...what works in one household might not work in another.

This addresses another issue. So, because you work into the evening, you alter the lifestyle so you can spend time with the kids? So, If I work until the wee hours of the morning, I can do the same? You have to look at what is best for them, not you. If the kids can stay up until say, ten at night at the age of 2 or 3, how late will it be when they are eight or ten? you can't all of a sudden say" oh, now that your older you have to go to bed". I worked into the evening, my kids still went to bed at the regular time. I spent maybe an hour with them before bedtime and lots on my days off, vacations etc..It is the quality of time, not the quantity.

[leeleemom]

Maybe I took some of the comments as bashing me. If that was not the intent then I apologize. I agree that mothers(and fathers) who take their children out late to party is wrong. I would never do that....EVER! If I want to go out I get a sitter. Sometimes I will take my 9 month old for a walk later at night(9 or so) if he won't settle down and go to sleep. Sometimes that is the only way I can get him to sleep. On occasion I have walked to a friends house or even my mothers and he has fallen asleep there in his stroller. I don't leave him there for hours. I still don't see anything wrong with that. Like some ppl on here have said sleep is very important and if that is how I have to get him to settle for the night on occasion than I don't see a problem.

[avaadore]

I already posted a doctors advise on sleep for all ages of children...I don't think those that keep their children out late did, or will read it. It just seems to me (my OPINION)...that once you have a child , your primary concern should be for that child...not taking them with you while visiting friends at night. not saying not to go out..just find a solution that benifits the child like a baby sitter, instead of leaving them sitting in stroller or car seat. Or, even worse when they get to be toddlers. I'm not talking about them falling asleep in them, i mean purposely letting them sleep in them for hours , just so you can be out with your friends. If you are willing to risk pregnancy, you have take responsibility. In most cases( not all) if you have a child that will not sleep regular hours it is because they were never made to. As I mentioned before, it is up to you as a parent to keep them healthy.

Exactily!

[leeleemom]

I already posted a doctors advise on sleep for all ages of children...I don't think those that keep their children out late did, or will read it. It just seems to me (my OPINION)...that once you have a child , your primary concern should be for that child...not taking them with you while visiting friends at night. not saying not to go out..just find a solution that benifits the child like a baby sitter, instead of leaving them sitting in stroller or car seat. Or, even worse when they get to be toddlers. I'm not talking about them falling asleep in them, i mean purposely letting them sleep in them for hours , just so you can be out with your friends. If you are willing to risk pregnancy, you have take responsibility. In most cases( not all) if you have a child that will not sleep regular hours it is because they were never made to. As I mentioned before, it is up to you as a parent to keep them healthy.

I did read the sleep advice you posted. I would love to have my 9 month old sleep like that. But he doesn't. I am working on it. He naps maybe 2 hours in the day....it is hard. At night he wakes several times. It is very hard to settle him and he refuses to take a soother. I have established what I think is a pretty good routine at bedtime as suggested by my dr but it doesn't seem to be working as of yet.

[suesguy]

LeeLeemom, Nothing i can see wrong with that.. occasionly. But for those that do it a lot...What's wrong with taking him for a walk until he sleeps then going home and putting him in his/her own bed if this is needed once in a while ? In my own experience, once you make a habit of something, it is hard to break it.. pretty soon , the child will only go to sleep if you walk them , or take for a drive etc...

[sanstu]

LeeLeemom, Nothing i can see wrong with that.. occasionly. But for those that do it a lot...What's wrong with taking him for a walk until he sleeps then going home and putting him in his/her own bed if this is needed once in a while ? In my own experience, once you make a habit of something, it is hard to break it.. pretty soon , the child will only go to sleep if you walk them , or take for a drive etc...


It would appear to me that LeeLeemom is doing the best she can for her child. She is following the advice of her Dr. and is trying different methods in hopes she will find one that works. It is extremely difficult to cope with an infant that has a sleep disturbance.

So LeeLeemom, do what ever works for you and your child. Hopefully his sleep pattern improves soon!!

[suesguy]

LeeLeemom is not what I was discussing...she is concerned about her child and trys...it is the ones I see that couldn't care less as long as they can do what they want and to ##!! with the child. So, I wasn't bashing leeleemom...in any way.

[sanstu]

suesguy, no 2 infants are alike. What may work for one may not work for another. The parents that take their children to the bars, or have them out with them while they party are not going to take any advice posted here.(they're probably sleeping off a hang-over)

On the other hand offering support to a parent that is struggling with an infant not sleeping well is simply a nice thing to do!

[suesguy]

Agreed...well said.

[trinity]

This past summer working at the hotel, I encountered no less than 3 times parents traveling with toddlers and infants asking if they could take their kid to a bar (and I don't mean a place like the Alehouse or Tapps that has a restaurant component)- they meant O'learys, Ozone etc. UM, WHAT? I had NEVER been asked such a question before this year. And these weren't your local poor trash, these were people who were on several weeks vacation being able to afford $150/nt for a room. I'm sure these were some of the people you saw on the boardwalk at 1 a.m.
When I was a child, my mother would very rarely have to go the liquor store for a six pack for my father, and when we went she made me stay in the porch of the liquor store, saying it wasn't a fit place for children to go inside. I was about 30 years old before I could go in a liquor store without guilt LOL.

[Airyn]

Okay, I usually don't reply to things on here, but I have to for this. My son is almost a year old, and has a slightly unconventional schedule. Bedtime for him starts at around 10, with him in bed at like 10:30-11 and he gets up at around 9am. I, not him, set this schedule and keep him on it and LOVE IT. I work later in the evening and get to spend a couple of very precious hours with him at night before bed and have time to get myself ready in the morning before he gets up. He naps for about 4 hours during the day, split into two naps usually and is a very well adjusted healthy child. I totally agree that you need to set a schedule for your child, but that schedule needs to fit your lifestyle as well. My husband worked nights, and would not be ready to get up to start the day at like 7am, so we had the baby sleeping in late. We also eat our meals a bit later than most, having supper at like 7:30-8:00 each night and love him to join us. We spend a lot of time outside, before and after supper, playing, going for walks, just enjoying each others company, and yes on occasion, we have gone to visit friends, or had company over. I don't think there is anything wrong with this. It works for us, but I am sure there are other families that it wouldn't work at all for. I think that each parent needs to set a schedule for their children that works for them and their current lifestyle and make changes as needed. If I had to get up earlier, then I would just adjust his schedule to make up for that. Unless you know that other people's children are suffering, then you should not make comments. Their situation is probably different than yours and they have to made adjustments to accomadate and to live comfortably.

[The_Dave]

I have a 8 month old baby and he is usually in bed every night at 630-730 at night . and i dont have him outside after supper time . i was outside with a cousin of mine and i saw soo many babies who were either younger or a little bit older than mine still outside . the girl who lives across the road from me has her baby outside until 11-12 at night! its crazy even when i was 10 i was in bed by 7-8 at night. I will NOT for any reason unless my son HAD to go outside after 7 at night take him outside . i dont see alot of older people with kids doing this but it is the younger ones. Its not all younger parents but i see Alot of them doing this . The way i see it is if you want to hang out with your friends then tell them to go to your house after a sertin time , dont take your child out when you know he/she will be sleeping !:mad: it makes me mad sometimes !

Yeah what is the big deal?????????? Babies sleep at all times, and it really is none of your business unless the person is abusive or not providing for her baby.

[sanstu]

Yeah what is the big deal?????????? Babies sleep at all times, and it really is none of your business unless the person is abusive or not providing for her baby.

Read Flaxie's post!!! It takes a village to raise a child. There is nothing wrong with being aware!!!

[The_Dave]

Read Flaxie's post!!! It takes a village to raise a child. There is nothing wrong with being aware!!!

I stand by what I posted. The REAL problem is someone being tooooooooooo darn nosey.

[suesguy]

I don't find seeing a neighbors 3 year old outside at 9:30 pm playing, or 12 year olds on a bus with drunk parents at 11:30 pm being "nosey". The post is not about infants sleeping schedules, it is about parent who purposley keeps kids up so thay can run the roads....

[Airyn]

I don't find seeing a neighbors 3 year old outside at 9:30 pm playing, or 12 year olds on a bus with drunk parents at 11:30 pm being "nosey". The post is not about infants sleeping schedules, it is about parent who purposley keeps kids up so thay can run the roads....

How can you be sure that those children are not on a decent schedule anyways? Perhaps their parents do keep them up later and then let them sleep in come morning. And what is wrong with a 3 year old being outside, as long they are being supervised, regardless of the time? They could be inside watching TV instead of getting fresh air and exercise. To me, each parent needs to set a schedule for their child that works for all parties involved.

[The_Dave]

I don't find seeing a neighbors 3 year old outside at 9:30 pm playing, or 12 year olds on a bus with drunk parents at 11:30 pm being "nosey". The post is not about infants sleeping schedules, it is about parent who purposley keeps kids up so thay can run the roads....

I didn't read about the drunk parents on the bus. THAT I WOULD BE AGAINST, but as for having a baby up late, I have no problem with that.

[meldev]

In my opinion it is important to setup a good schedule for your young ones early on. There is an old expression I believe it goes “you reap what you sow”. If you are keeping your kids up late so you can run the roads (first of all you should be ashamed of yourself) and secondly you will pay for this later. Although it may be easy now to keep them up later and allow them and YOU to sleep in you must also consider you are establishing a pattern. There will be a day when they start school and will have no choice but to get up early. If they are unable to sleep at a decent hour then they will be tired and you will have your hands full trying to get them out of bed before they are ready. Not to mention their learning process will suffer from the lack of sleep.

[mommyd]

my mom always set decent bed times for me but once i got to be a teenager it didn't matter that she did that when i was younger, i still had a hard time getting up in the morning and i still do. So it doesn't always matter whether you set up good routines for your kids early on or not.
I agree that you shouldn't be taking your kids out later every day, but if it's just once in awhile, (when they are babies and they have an easy time falling asleep anywhere) it's not that big of a deal. But obviously if some parents take their kid's out all the time and they are going out to drink there's more wrong with them than just that. If you can't find a babysitter then you shouldn't be going out to get drunk for sure. I have friends who came over to visit with me when their baby girl was about 5 months old. It was 11pm. She was sleeping when they arrived. And stayed asleep the whole time.
We weren't drinking , just visiting.. and i don't see anything wrong with that.

In my opinion it is important to setup a good schedule for your young ones early on. There is an old expression I believe it goes “you reap what you sow”. If you are keeping your kids up late so you can run the roads (first of all you should be ashamed of yourself) and secondly you will pay for this later. Although it may be easy now to keep them up later and allow them and YOU to sleep in you must also consider you are establishing a pattern. There will be a day when they start school and will have no choice but to get up early. If they are unable to sleep at a decent hour then they will be tired and you will have your hands full trying to get them out of bed before they are ready. Not to mention their learning process will suffer from the lack of sleep.

[suesguy]

How can you be sure that those children are not on a decent schedule anyways? Perhaps their parents do keep them up later and then let them sleep in come morning. And what is wrong with a 3 year old being outside, as long they are being supervised, regardless of the time? They could be inside watching TV instead of getting fresh air and exercise. To me, each parent needs to set a schedule for their child that works for all parties involved.

Sounds to me like your saying to set schedules that work for the parents...not the child. I don't understand the debate here...it is medically proven that kids need structure, good sleep patterns etc..letting a child stay up until all hours and them sleep late into the day is not doing that. Infants, in my experience, have no real pattern. As they grow it is up to parents to set that pattern. As mentioned at least ten times on here, we are not talking about a once in awhile thing. I see young girls walking around with sleeping kids in stollers etc...late at night...that child should be home in bed but nooo..how can she hang with her peeps then?...that is the issue.

[mommyd]

Sounds to me like your saying to set schedules that work for the parents...not the child. I don't understand the debate here...it is medically proven that kids need structure, good sleep patterns etc..letting a child stay up until all hours and them sleep late into the day is not doing that. Infants, in my experience, have no real pattern. As they grow it is up to parents to set that pattern. As mentioned at least ten times on here, we are not talking about a once in awhile thing. I see young girls walking around with sleeping kids in stollers etc...late at night...that child should be home in bed but nooo..how can she hang with her peeps then?...that is the issue.


and how do you know those girls are out all the time like that? Could it be possible that when you see them it is the "once in a while" they are out late with their kids? Gosh

[suesguy]

I work and take the bus twice everyday. On any given night I see a lot of the same crowd hanging around the area and, beleive me, they are not shy about what they talk about in public...

[redbridgelane]

From what i have seen its the parents that keep the kids up so that the kids will sleep in in the morning so that the parents can have a great time at night and not have to worry about getting up with their kids!!! so the cycle continues...