We all have a past don't we?!

[Cherry Pop]

Why is it when you meet someone new and they heard something about your past they feel the need to bring it up? I am far from perfect as I'm sure everyone on here is. Well I did something in my past that I'm not proud of as I'm sure we all have. I find I am constantly meeting new people who have heard what I have done and feel the need to bring it up. I mean it was over 4 years ago and I am a completely different person now. How long am I going to be punished for something I did wrong?

[hiph0p]

everytime i see people from junior high / high school that i dont even remeber they always bring up some crap like oh i remeber when yo bla blah blah and im like and you are? lol doesnt bother me

[Mandi]

:( I haven't ever had anything come back to haunt me , yet anyway, other than the fact that I got pregnant really young (but i'm not ashamed of that at all...) so I can't relate, but I really do sympathize with you. i hate when people don't get to know you after they have heard about you. My little sister has a huge problem with that because of some of the people she use to hang around. She's one of 'the bad group' although she's completely completely different now.

[toodles]

when soneone brings up something i don't to hear, i just shoot them a dirty look and change the subject!.. i can give a very mean stare! than i will just walk away as if i never heard what they said and talk to someone else.. I dont like people that like to remind of us of things we did that we are not proud of. Life is for the future not the past

[user5624]

I just give people a look of 'What is wrong with you?!' when they bring up stuff that they know they shouldn't. Leave the past in the past. I've never had anybody I met for the first time bring up my past, you must be pretty popular :)

Seriously, give them a dirty look then change the subject. If they persist, walk away. Anybody with common sense knows that if it's something bad, it's only polite not to talk about it.

[paak]

Depending on the seriousness of past events, sometimes they do need to be addressed. Having said that though, the past is a dangerous place to dwell. Say what needs to be said about it and move on. If the 'new person' can't let it go, then perhaps its best to let them go.

[The Revelation]

Maybe they 'heard' something bad, and don't want to judge you by a rumor, and thus are giving you the chance to say "it was nothing like that." That way they can have a true idea of who you really are, not just a rumor.

Purhaps giving the stare and the ugly shoulder is only confirming what actually happened, in the worst possible light, thus showing that you not only were like that, but probably haven't changed.

I'm sorry, but the best predictor of future behavior is the past. (Dr. Phil says it too)... So if they want to become friends, they are trying to decide what kind of person you really are. And if they get the 'ignore' or the 'stare' or the 'hot shoulder,' then hey, maybe you are still a b

But perhaps if you say "oh, that was so long ago when I was a completely different person" and then change the subject, maybe you truly have changed, learned to accept yourself, have some self confidence, and are someone that they might like to be around.



This chicken fed by 100% real grain Truth.
Revelation

[Cherry Pop]

Thank you everyone for your input! I feel a little better! Yes I made a bad choice in the past and that is what it was a bad choice. I learned from it and have tried to make up for it! I just hate the fact that 4 years later people are still talking about it. I have moved on or at least tried to - I just wish other people would too!

[user5624]

Most people have no business in other people's past, and for them to bring up things not relevant is uncalled for in my opinion. Aspecially if it was personal. I can think of more then a few circumstances where certain things shouldn't ever be mentioned to somebody. Also, rumors and hear say, is bad. If people judge others based on that, then they're probably not the type of people worth being friends with.

[bhmannetje]

Most people have no business in other people's past, and for them to bring up things not relevant is uncalled for in my opinion. Aspecially if it was personal. I can think of more then a few circumstances where certain things shouldn't ever be mentioned to somebody. Also, rumors and hear say, is bad. If people judge others based on that, then they're probably not the type of people worth being friends with.

... sorry guys but what do you think of when i say ' Bill Clinton '.
It's people's nature just to label others. It is how YOU handle that that makes them think in a different direction. So the best thing to do is answer honestly to how you feel if people bring up that thing in the past. YOUR reaction makes all the difference. Don't blame it on people in general.

[user5624]

You rob a store, then yes, that is something that is I can see people asking about. But say somebody's husband cheats on them or something personal like that, the person has no business asking about that. It all depends on what it is.

Bill Clinton? I personally don't think it was anybody's business what he did in his off time. I feel sorry for his wife but still. I'm not a nosey person I guess.

[bhmannetje]

Bill Clinton? I personally don't think it was anybody's business what he did in his off time. I feel sorry for his wife but still. I'm not a nosey person I guess.

But what did he do?
See my point?

[user5624]

But what did he do?
See my point?

No, I can't say I do.

[Cherry Pop]

The thing is with my situation is that it happened a lot time ago -4 years ago. I made a bad choice, I tried my best to make things right at the time and now I want to move on. Unfortunately others involved in the situation chose to spread lies and rumours and still to this day talk about it. I have no problem letting people know what really happened but at the same time I just want to forget about it and move on. I just think it is so unfair to judge me for one thing I've done wrong. I also think it is so unfair to ask me about it when it really isn't that persons business. The past should stay in the past!

[icedragon]

unless you killed someone the people who are still living this from 4 years ago really need to purchase a life. Perhaps a job and a hobby or two. After a day or 2, maybe even a week tops, news is old and no longer interesting. Now, I'm no better than anyone else with my past in fact my past is probally more horrible that yours. The difference is most of mine happened overseas and in the little town I was born which I have not been back to in years and cannot go back because people seeing me will remind them of things I done. Anyway, if it were me, when brought up I would say things like (chuckle here) "ya I totally reamed her/him" or something like that. you will get to save face and the issue should diminish.

[Mandi]

Made the hair stand up on the back of my neck when I got to the bottom of the page and seen the signature.....lol

Made me chuckle. There have been people who have said worse and are still here. I have to say though , Bill Clinton? Not anyone's buisness if he has a horrible mariage and decides to have an affair. I feel sorry for anyone who this is the case, but it happens (sad as it is. ) and I don't feel it's something that should be made public.

[daneast]

It is a fact of life you are judged on what you do. There are those out there that will never forget if a harm is done to them or someone close to them ,and those that just like talking, or gossiping.
I also have said and done things in my past, all of when i was young and thought i knew everything. I have learned to accept that ,if brought up from time to time, that is part of my punishment...if i didn't do it, i wouldn't have to hear about it. Just square your shoulders, accept it, explain if they will listen, shrug it off if they don't. Be confident that you are not that person anymore, hold your head up and move on. If your friends or aquaintances will not, distance yourself. Also, do the right thing now, help someone..pass it on...helps with the cross you bear.

Wuz up truth?