jdcb
12-30-2006, 12:05 AM
Below are listed complaints made by pilots to the maintenance crew, and then the Engineers responses/resolutions to those problems.
Complaint:
inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
Response:
Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
Complaint:
Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Response:
Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
Complaint:
Something loose in ****pit.
Response:
Something tightened in ****pit.
Complaint:
Dead bugs on windshield.
Response:
Live bugs on back-order.
Complaint:
Autopilot in altitude -hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. Response:
Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Complaint:
Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Response:
Evidence removed.
Complaint:
DME volume unbelievably loud.
Response:
DME volume set to more believable level.
Complaint:
Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Response:
That’s what they’re there for.
Complaint:
IFF inoperative.
Response:
IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
Complaint:
Suspected crack in windshield.
Response:
Suspect you’re right.
Complaint:
Number 3 engine missing.
Response:
Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Complaint:
Aircraft handles funny.
Response:
Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
Complaint:
Target radar hums.
Response:
Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
Complaint:
Mouse in ****pit.
Response:
Cat installed.
Complaint:
inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
Response:
Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
Complaint:
Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Response:
Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
Complaint:
Something loose in ****pit.
Response:
Something tightened in ****pit.
Complaint:
Dead bugs on windshield.
Response:
Live bugs on back-order.
Complaint:
Autopilot in altitude -hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. Response:
Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Complaint:
Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Response:
Evidence removed.
Complaint:
DME volume unbelievably loud.
Response:
DME volume set to more believable level.
Complaint:
Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Response:
That’s what they’re there for.
Complaint:
IFF inoperative.
Response:
IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
Complaint:
Suspected crack in windshield.
Response:
Suspect you’re right.
Complaint:
Number 3 engine missing.
Response:
Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Complaint:
Aircraft handles funny.
Response:
Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
Complaint:
Target radar hums.
Response:
Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
Complaint:
Mouse in ****pit.
Response:
Cat installed.