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jdcb
12-30-2006, 01:05 AM
Below are listed complaints made by pilots to the maintenance crew, and then the Engineers responses/resolutions to those problems.

Complaint:
inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
Response:
Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

Complaint:
Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Response:
Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Complaint:
Something loose in ****pit.
Response:
Something tightened in ****pit.

Complaint:
Dead bugs on windshield.
Response:
Live bugs on back-order.

Complaint:
Autopilot in altitude -hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. Response:
Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Complaint:
Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Response:
Evidence removed.

Complaint:
DME volume unbelievably loud.
Response:
DME volume set to more believable level.

Complaint:
Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Response:
That’s what they’re there for.

Complaint:
IFF inoperative.
Response:
IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

Complaint:
Suspected crack in windshield.
Response:
Suspect you’re right.

Complaint:
Number 3 engine missing.
Response:
Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Complaint:
Aircraft handles funny.
Response:
Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

Complaint:
Target radar hums.
Response:
Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Complaint:
Mouse in ****pit.
Response:
Cat installed.

user5624
12-30-2006, 01:35 AM
Hahaha Im going to guess who sent that to you.
I always laugh when I read that.

jonah
12-30-2006, 08:37 PM
omg I though it was serious haha

BettyH
01-16-2007, 12:17 PM
Ha ha ha ha that is hilarious...

devils_advocat1
01-17-2007, 06:40 PM
great humour to lighten up the day

adm
01-17-2007, 07:02 PM
My brother is an air traffic controller in the air force. I sent this to him, I'm sure he will get a kick out of it! I'll ask him if it's true or not.

jdcb
01-18-2007, 06:47 AM
I'll ask him if it's true or not.

Theres no way to ever really know...