She is my sister...

[cornerofeden]

This is not to bash smokers. So out of respect for me and my sister please do not do this on my thread.
I have a wonderful, funny, giving, loving sister whom right this moment is lying in the hospital dying of lung cancer.
She is 57 years old with four great kids who love her very much. And they are with her right now trying to hold it together for her sake. But when they leave the room someone is there to hold them, and let them cry. You hear all this coming from them and how do you yourself hold it in for them? You don't...you cry also. Every time someone comes out from that room they fall apart because they know they are saying goodbye.
Yesterday we got a call to come to the hospital immediately. At 3am lying next to her husband in their own home she woke up coughing and vomiting blood. She was rushed to the hospital and immediately put in a bed. Again she began vomiting blood and could not catch her breath. Her chest cavity was expanding and closing as she gasped for air. The staff finally was able to get control of the situation and gave her morphine to make her as comfortable as possible. While this was happening to her, her husband and only daughter watched her go through all this!..What a memory to carry the rest of your life. The one person you love the most is dying that way.
She comes from a family of ten siblings including her. She is the first to go. Every brother and sister were there except one. Her grandchildren, nieces, nephews, friends etc. Everyone there loves her very much.
She was not expected to make it through the night but she is still hanging on. Could it be because her husband has never left her side since she was admitted? He holds her hand and rubs her head, nothing else he can do. She wakes up every now and then and talks for a minute or so and goes back to sleep. She has such a huge family and everyone wants a turn with her just to say they love her, and hubby holds the other hand . I said to him; this must be hard on you not having alone time with her and you know what he said...its ok I am hanging on to the fact that I will have all night.
Let me tell you about my relationship with her. Debbie and I are 4 years apart. As kids she always had the upper hand being she was the oldest. She would get me to cover for her if she was doing something she shouldn't be doing and I would. If it were reverse she would rat on me!! But we loved each other so much. As time went on we started calling each other "bro". She will always be my bro even when she's gone. We shared a lot of joy and heartache together. She was the ball of the party. Sometimes she would say things that would embarrass you...oh, what I would give to have it all back now....even the embarrassing times!
Now I am going to take a shower and go see her. Today May be the last...I do know it will be soon. Mom and everyone will be there again just so we can get a chance to say "I love you" one more time. As I write this the tears flow again and the purpose for this letter is this: If one person reads this and quits smoking then it was worth it. Thanks so much for not using this thread to bash....Debbie's bro..Darlene

[Mommma]

Your message is heartfelt and a person reading it can feel your pain and how much you love and will miss your "bro"

If you can prevent one other person from having to experience what you and your entire family are going through it will be worth it.

I am a 43 yr old Nurse who had smoked for many years until finally my lungs told me I couldn't anymore. I could not even inhale one puff without going into a coughing spell. I was diagnosed with early COPD(Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease)which would have progressed to full blown Emphysema or Bronchitis, if I continued smoking.As I laid in my bed with shortness of breath and a burning sensation every time I took a breath I cursed myself for being so stupid and smoking for so long.

I had even smoked after taking care of people who had just died of lung cancer. I have watched people die as they cough up or vomit blood until their lungs fill up and they literally die drowning in their own fluids. One man sat right up seconds before his last breath,grabbed the side rails with a panicked look telling me he couldn't breathe and that was it.

Each cigarette has 4000 chemicals in it,including Nicotine. It is not just tobacco in a sheet of paper. They include rat poison, formeldahyde, arsenic,battery acid etc. Would anyone out there pay $8/day for 25 carcinogenic toxic pills gaurenteed to kill them slowly? or approx. $5000/yr.. Would the FDA allow anyone to sell these now? They hardly allow Vitamins through thier rigorous testing now. The Tobacco companies are a multi billion dollar industry(Governement gets the taxes-so they won't stop them)

The addiction of a cigarette is 8 times stronger then Heroin...but the withdrawals are not as severe when you finally stop. Uncomfortable for a few days but it gets easier. When I got a craving I didn't dwell on really wanting a smoke, but changed the thought focussing on how much better I was going to feel and how I wanted to be around for my children to see them graduate,get married and have my grandchildren.it made a tremendous difference compared to the umpteenth times I had "quit " before.

My heart goes out to you and your family.....

[dollydoo]

Hi im 24 years old and ive been smoking for 11 years now. I am very touched by your story. I watched my fiance's grandmother die of cancer which was our daughters great grandmother. I understand what you and your family are going through. Your story makes me want to quit. I look at my daughter and picture her looking at me in that situation and i would never want my child to see me like that. I hope that you and your family stay strong and know that you will always have your bro in your heart and soul. You will always have the memories and yes you would do anything to change what is going on but its someone higher up that is showing you and your family how to be strong and be one and understand. It does happen to alot of people. I wish you all the best.

[rubycshells]

Gentle (((((((((hugs))))))))))) and thoughts are with you.

[puppyluv]

Corner of Eden,
*big hugs*..I have tears rolling down my face reading your post..and I fully understand where you are coming from with your relationship with your sister...my heart is breaking for you, and for Deb's family.
My Mom passed away in January, the main cause being cigarettes...she just couldn't/wouldn't give them up.

You and your family are in my prayers...please feel free to email me any time of you need a shoulder to lean on ok?

[mizunderstood]

Cornerofeden
I am sitting here crying now after reading your post... I am soo sorry for what u are going through. I myself am a smoker, have seen the side effects of smoking but the one part of your post that hit me is her children and family that are affected.. I have now decided to try to quit again. Thank you! God bless you!

[MrsBeasley]

Corner of Eden what a touching story. It reminds me of why I quit and why I wish my mother would quit. Friday, I'm taking my 23 month old son to visit his grandmother in Ontario for only the second time. Lately she has been in and out of the hospital herself with pneumonia on top of the early stages of lung disease and emphasema due to smoking. I feel bad because my father is already gone and I have no idea how much my son will get to know my mother before smoking finally takes her as she absolutely can't seem to go any longer than a month without it.

[beckettjag]

I sympathise and feel your pain I also lost a loved one the same way.It's the worst way to watch a loved one pass.Hospice saint john was very supportive for me.And I'm glad your surrounded by family.

[livnlern]

http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i267/justlaynback/thoughtandprayers.gif

(Darlene) little bro,
To say I know what you are going through would be a lie,I can only imagine the grief.Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your bro(Debbie)and her husband Rick and the rest of the family.We have known Debbie and Rick for 5 years now and she has made such a huge difference in our lives, more than she will ever know.
It must of taken all you have left in you right now to write the very touching words that you have written here today.I read it to my husband and needless to say it took quite a few pauses before I could finish reading your words.

God Bless you all

[QuispamsisHome]

I am so sorry for you and your sister...it is so difficult to see someone that you care about suffer. I am a nurse and worked on a cancer unit for 10 years....I saw a lot of suffering also. Everyone knows the harmful effects of cigarettes but they are so damn addicting. I remember a few who were hooked up to an IV getting chemotherapy and still going outside for a cigarette. I am sure that most who smoke today would choose to quit if it were easy for them.
The gov't shold step in and do something...it is inhumane to allow it to continue with all of the research and studies. If they put the $ and focus on developing a program they would not have to put out $ in hospital.
I wish you strength and peace to endure this difficult time....God Bless

[dittydottie]

My prayers are with you all. I only wish we could get through to all all loved ones who smoke that they are not only hurting themselves but they will also be hurting all their loved ones someday.(some sooner than others) If only there was a way to allow them to see into the future than maybe just maybe they would see what will happen to their loved ones as the watch day in day out as the final day comes for that person.
I come from a family of 7 and I am number 3.I can honestly say that I am the only one who never took up the smoking habit. I thank God everyday for the fact that 4 of them have given it up.I keep praying that someday soon my other 2 siblings and my father will give it up.
I have a great husband(26 years now)3 wonderful daughters and 2 son in laws and I so happy that none of them smoke.
Please keep your chin up and remember that your sister needs to know that it is ok to go. She already knows you all love her.
God bless you all :-)

[SJresident]

I was so moved by your post...
I wanted you to know that you and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers. One thing I was so happy to read was all your amazing memories you have with her...the up times the down times...those are yours forever seeled with love in your heart for you to go back to and think about whenever you want. Your sister sounds like an amazing woman to have soo many people there wanting to tell her they love her...sounds like she touched people and that her memory will be alive in many always.
I pray peace and strenght for you all right now !!

[ILiveOnEarth]

I am crying reading this at work. My thoughts are with you and your family. I wish there was something I could do to ease you and your family's pain.

[cornerofeden]

Thank you everyone for your kindness and prayers. I am in awe at the wonderful people on isaintjohn.
Seeing I brought you into this and if it is all right by all of you, I would like to keep you all informed on Debbie's last days, weeks...whatever God choses to give her.
Again, thank you so much...Darlene

[SJresident]

Please do....I pray all her time that's left is filled with love and people all around. The truth is, non of us know when are time is, so it's important to enjoy every moment. Your post reminded me the importance to live every day like we were dying..say those things we want to say...do those things we want to do.....eat that cup cake that's been given a bad name :)
All the blessing in the world sent to you all right now((()))

[oasis]

I know what you are going through. We lost my mother almost 2 years ago with Lung, Bowel, and liver cancer. It was very tough. But we got through it. It takes time an tears. Luckily for mom there was very little pain. They kept her pretty doped up at the end. And she just slipped away with her family around her..

Hang on and think of all the good times. The night mom passed away we were miserable. My sister brought up one of the funnier times in our family history and we all lost it. We spent the rest of the night talking about the good times. The funny things that happened. And even though she could not talk or respond to us you could see the looks on her face. She wanted to laugh! She would also scowl when she heard us say something she disapproved of.

It's still hard when we visit dad and she's not there to tell me off. Or to threaten me! But things are getting much easier now and they will be for you to eventually.

[magoosmomma]

I am sitting here with tears rolling down my face... I can related having lost my mom to lung cancer 2 years ago.. cherish what time you are granted with her .. I have nothing that I can say that will comfort you or make this easier.. but just know I am thinking of you and her entire family

[jillybean]

My prayers are with you and your family. I know what you are going through as I watched my dad die from lung cancer at the age of 54 yrs old and it is heart renching. God is with you and he will help carry you through the hard times. I am not a religious fanatic but I am sure he got us through many of the hard times. You sound like a wonderful sister and you will have so many wonderful memories to remember her by. She sounds like she was very special so hang on to the good memories not the bad ones as this is what she would of wanted and time will heal
Thank you for sharing your story. I know when my dad died of lung cancer I quit smoking. you are a very brave and loving sister
God bless you all

[cornerofeden]

Again, thank you so much for your encouraging words and prayers.
As you know, we were called in Saturday night to be with my sister because they did not see her making it through the night.
I have no doubt about the power of prayer; but I also know there are times God will not allow us to have what we pray for. And only God see's the end result, if what we desired, he allowed.
We, as a christian family know she has accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Saviour, and to us that is more important than extending her life.
I am on here not to preach, but to give an update on her.
She was told by her Dr. that they are giving her two months so make the best of the time she has left. She is going home Thursday, hopefully. She wants to be home to spend the time she has left with her family.
Again, thank you....Darlene

[MistyMoon]

Peace Cornerofeden

It was because someone like yourself who shared thier sisters story and the battle of lung cancer that I am smoke free for over 2 years now.

When I felt the cravings I remember how her sister quoted her saying 24 hrs after having a lung removed "I wish I was going through the withdrawl of quitting smoking instead of this"

[Crystalbeach]

I'm so sorry to read this...I've lost a brother and a sister...
my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family today.
My sister, brother-in-law and son-in-law all still smoke and there isn't a day goes by that it doesn't worry me.

[tred816]

Your letter touched me deeply. I began crying in the middle of it and haven't stopped to read what others wrote as I feel it's personal and meant for you alone.
My thoughts and prayers are with your sister and her family and I wish you all the best.