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View Full Version : What happened to zero tolerance ??


aimee1lynn
04-27-2007, 01:16 PM
Zero tolerance for bully's ya right I have yet to see it !! :mad:

This kid has been an issue for the 3 years my son has attended this school with the exception of last year when he was sent to another school for phyiscally hurting two teachers . This boy is mucher bigger than most of the kids in his class and i know quite a few including my son are scared of him and i am not the only concerned parent. I have been down to the school more times than I can count and nothing is getting any better and I am at my wits ,,,, what more can I do ?? My son is 11 and was to the doctor on monday for headaches that he is having all the time and at 11 years old he is having tension headaches due to stress from being bullied at school . He is too the point when this kid hurts him or threatens him he will not tell because he is scared of what this kid will do to him .

This year alone he has :
choked kids in and out of class
kicked kids in and out of class
thrown kids over the school fence
threatened to kill kids
punched kids in the head
thrown chairs in class
broke glass in school room doors
the swearing is unreal in and out of the class
and the list goes on

All I hear from the school is that this child is getting better and they want to give him the benifit of the doubt .
Everyday I send my child to school scared of what will happen to him ..... what is it gonna take a child to get seriously injured ??
why not stop it before it happens ??
Next year my child will be going to junior high with him next year ,,,, with less supervision I am terrified of what will happen .
I am tired of people making exceptions for this child :mad: If my son did half of this stuff he would have been out of this school long ago .

rubycshells
04-27-2007, 03:49 PM
This is a question that I have asked many times. I am currently dealing with Forest Hills and I have been asked if these issues are occuring in other schools. I don't know if that is the case but there definately needs to be a change of the current school policies regarding this issue.

There is a meeting on Monday at Forest Hills dealing with the current policies and possibly looking at what is needed to change.

This is quite a large community problem and parents need to band together and not accept the current policies. Our children are getting hurt and we need to not sit back and accept it any longer. There needs to be more proactive support rather than reactive.

Everyday I hope that there isn't going to be a very serious injury that will result in a worse case scenario.

sjchickie
04-27-2007, 03:58 PM
My little brother has been the subject of bullying his entire life. I am not sure why maybe its because he is such a nice kid and refuses to say mean and rude things, maybe its because he is not overly athletic, maybe its because of something i am oblivious to. But from the age of 5 my parents have been dealing with my brother's bullys.

Here is what I have learned. He is now 16 and in high school. In elementary the zero tolerance was the biggest crock of sh** that i think they ever dealt with. Parents were non responsive and so was the school in regards to taking action on these kids. BY the time he got to middle school my mom sent him where she thought most of the bullys would not follow.

On the bus they kicked him and punched him, and they teased him so bad that he would break down. My parents always taught him that if someone hits you first to hit them back!! but not until then!!....kids are CRUEL and horrible. The administration of the middle school claimed they had done all the could for the situation. A few times cops were called due to fights in the middle school yard, kids were suspended and expelled but it didnt stop them

Now he is in high school and after YEARS of constant bullying he has needed to undergo councelling. I will say that for the first time in all his years his high school principle is 100% on board with the Zero tolerance thing. She has been amazing with my parents and let me tell you in the almost 2 years he's been enrolled at this high school there has been NUMEROUS incidents where kids hit him and spit on him etc. this woman is a no nonsense kinda lady. She has expelled 3 children who have been problems and suspended many more.

My issue is that from what i have watched over the years being 7 years my brother senior is that it starts in elementary. these meager kindergarden teachers and principles who are not equipped with the skills to handle children so young with such anger has resulted in the problem getting bigger and bigger and bigger. and now the boy is 16 and he is SOOOO frustrated that he hates school!! and no child should hate school. Not only that he has said many times that he is gonna lose control one day and that no one is gonna wanna see what happens.

I feel awful for your child....elementary and middle schools i think feel that there hands are tied to an extent as they are trying to appease many parents and other people. They dont have the balls to take the action that is recommended and in turn people's children are getting bullied so bad they dont wanna get up in the morning

It makes me sick and turns my stomache...I have tried scarring these kids away from my brother...and it works for the time being but more come and start all over. Keep at your child's school administration...call the parents of the child with the issue and CONTINUE to do it so that they know your not going away. It sounds like a lot but it seems you have no choice.

Its so sad children have to go through this :(

jdcb
04-27-2007, 05:00 PM
I was bullied every day up until grade 7 when I punched one of the bullies in the head and beat him around the classroom. Now I do NOT recommend that or condone it, but it did fix it...

What I would do is send a letter to the principle, the schoolboard, and the minister of education. You said he's 11 so he's probably in grade 6. Did he get a school handbook or agenda? When I had mine it said right in the front that he had the right to attend public school without the threat of these fears. I would find that line, quote it heavily in your letter, and express how this one child is directly opressing that right for you child and others including faculty. Also let them know that you have a fourth letter ready and addressed to the editor of the Telegraph journal and another to Global news (or someone, I don't watch news on tv so don't know the programs)...

rhiley_08j
04-27-2007, 05:32 PM
I don't condone violence. The best advice would be to ignore them. Really though. Don't show them that anything they say has an affect on you. If you truly act like you don't give a rat's behind, 9 times out of ten, they leave you alone because they are not getting the response they want. That other 1 out of ten time, you just might have to stick up for yourself so that they all remember the day that you had enough.

serialspell
04-27-2007, 06:46 PM
I don't condone violence. The best advice would be to ignore them. Really though. Don't show them that anything they say has an affect on you. I truly act like you don't give a rat's behind, 9 times out of ten, they leave you alone because they are not getting the response they want. That other 1 out of ten time, you just might have to stick up for yourself so that they all remember the day that you had enough.

Well said

sjchickie
04-27-2007, 07:10 PM
rhiley....times have changed and i can say in my brothers case and 2 other young kids i know...he has ignored them...constantly...he walks away the chase at him. These really bad kids are relentless. They dont lay off him they do not give up. Even in class this past christmas they were talking about family traditions and my brother mentioned that we all sit and watch the muppet family christmas together. They laughed at him and told him he was a loser. This little girl that i know...was using her pogo stick and accidentally hit the girl and they threw rocks at her all the way home. All the way home?? its insanity

Telling kids to IGNORE it doesnt work. They dont stop. This has to do with these kids parents and the morals and values they are instilling in these children. People have been saying to ignore it for 20 years and progressively violence in schools has INCREASED. So its hard for me to accept the statement "they should just ignore it" its something im really passionate about. These little crapheads are the future of this country. and if all they do is taunt those maybe a tid bit more shy or weaker than them than who does that leave to run this place????

Mandi
04-27-2007, 07:20 PM
I don't condone violence. The best advice would be to ignore them. Really though. Don't show them that anything they say has an affect on you. If you truly act like you don't give a rat's behind, 9 times out of ten, they leave you alone because they are not getting the response they want. That other 1 out of ten time, you just might have to stick up for yourself so that they all remember the day that you had enough.

Uh no. I went to high school with a guy, he was my best friend's close friend. He got teased constantly and never once did he so much as openly bat an eyelash. That made them MORE angry and things got worse. Still he didn't say a word, he looked so uneffected by it, but he actually very seriously contemplated suicide and it took a lot to help him. You never would have known if you weren't close to him that it bothered him in the slightest, but that only made things worse for him.

vanessalynn5484
04-27-2007, 07:36 PM
Pay a large child to beat the snot out of him and give him a message that your son sent him. The large child should also bark like a rabid dog for full effect.

Cherry Pop
04-27-2007, 07:50 PM
I have asked myself this question numerous times since my daughter started Kindergarden. She is now in Grade 3. Her school says they have this policy but that is all it is talk. When your child gets bullied, they do nothing about it! It's frustrating when the school staff don't follow their own school policies!

Tara
04-27-2007, 07:50 PM
Pay a large child to beat the snot out of him and give him a message that your son sent him. The large child should also bark like a rabid dog for full effect.

That's the best idea yet :rofl:

aimee1lynn
04-27-2007, 08:52 PM
These kids are in a grade 5 class ....I have talked to the parents at the first of the year when he hit my son ,,,, they were of no help they said they would talk to there child and not tell him that I called :( the next morning my son went to school and was pinned against the fence and told he was gonna get his a** kicked .... so that ended my contact with the parents ...

As for telling him to ignore it I have but it doesn't work .... My son has been told if he is hit that he is allowed to hit back to defend himself .... but this child is at least twice his size in weight and height

These kids in the class are soooo scared of him one little boy will not use the bathroom at school because he is scared . My son now hates school has headaches 4 - 5 times a week ... and is scared daily that this boy will hurt him

It does however stem from the home and the parents .... children's aid was involved and this child does have an anger problem ...... don't get me wrong I feel sorry for this child and god only knows what kind of hell he is living but I belive my child has a right to feel safe .

The school just makes exceptions over and over at the expense of my son's well being No 11 year old child should have stress in there lives like this and I feel like my hands are tied ,,,,, I have tried to talk to the school and nothing ever changes ,,,,, the throwing of chairs in the classroom really concerns me ..... a child could really get hurt..... but because this child didn't throw the chair at any one child he just threw the chair it is ok

I don't understand what they mean by zero tolerance ?? :confused:

The kids say you have lots of time to get away before he strikes because he starts to shake and he turns red

He is choking kids in the classroom what more does he have to do before something is done ?

he has kicked a child with hiking boots in the class and left a bruise the size of a baseball on his leg

I feel so bad everyday I send my son to school knowing he will be bullied and that he fears for his saftey ,,,, while I sit home by the phone waiting for the call that he has been hurt badly :(

rhiley_08j
04-27-2007, 09:47 PM
The thing is with the schools though is if your son hits back in all likelihood he will get in more trouble than the kid that is bullying him. I know it's not fair but that's the way it works.

Here's just a suggestion, your son might get in a little bit of trouble but it might solve the problem. You say he is twice the size of your son, then tell him to kick him below the waste, and when he is knelt over, knee him in the face. Stand up for himself.

rubycshells
04-27-2007, 09:49 PM
Ignoring the behaviour is proven to not work. The school board needs to re-address their policies regarding bullying. The incidents of bullying are becoming more violent.

Early intervention and a school that walks the walk and takes a zero tolerance position and makes it very visible and in everyones face is what is needed. Our times have changed and the schools need to change with the times.

We cannot accept what is happening...do you think that it is normal for an elementary/middle school to have bomb threats written on walls and kids bringing knives to school? This is where the community needs to become involved and NOT accept what is happening but accept that we need to work with the schools and illicit change before our children get hurt.

rhiley_08j
04-27-2007, 09:51 PM
What school are we talking about?

serialspell
04-27-2007, 09:53 PM
not being rude but this is a good bully de[/URL]terrent [URL="http://www.iconburst.com/love-avatar-942.html"]http://www.iconburst.com/avatars/animated/841thtakethis.gif (http://www.iconburst.com/love-avatar-942.html)

amethyst
04-28-2007, 06:30 AM
Hey aimee...is it still going on? My monster hasn't said anything to me lately....but you know with him...if i don't ask..he won't tell.

I don't understand for the life of me why this kid gets yours and a few others, but leaves mine alone. They are the same size, and basically have the same type of personality. Austin has mentioned that this bigger kid gets REALLY upset when he's teased, soooooooo..i am NOT saying your sonnybubbles is doing it..just saying that he might be in the wrong place at the wrong time kwim? I know it's no excuse...believe me..by that age he should have learned to control his anger and found other ways to deal with it instead of lashing out at whoever is closest. I do know that austin mentioned the incident with my nephew was because of teasing and he mentioned that both the boys were being teased. He said yours didn't have any part in it. But he did mention one name that was...same name you mentioned to me awhile ago, it's one of the kids being bullied. I don't agree with how they are handling this, and you said the kids can tell when he's going to blow because he gets red....well....maybe,,,just maybe those kids are getting him going to see just that. We all know that kids can be cruel little monsters sometimes.

I can tell you this much though....I would really LOVE to see yours smack him. Really. It might make him back off. Austin doesn't seem to have a problem with him..we don't really know why that is...maybe because he's unsure of what Austin is capable of? Austin HAS defended other kids and stepped in when he's seen bullying, so maybe he's a little leary. He knows he can't push Austin around. I do recall Austin saying though that HE was in the wrong place when "our bully" went off...and he did try to hurt Austin. He stopped himself though. He is capable of it. You know the school and the parents aren't working with you...maybe..tell him to not back down next time. I KNOW austin will stand behind him and back him up if he needs it. Not that i want to see my kid fighting..but i do seriously believe that there needs to come a time when the kid says enough and stands up and says...leave me alone or else. I can imagine how scarey it would be though with the size difference..gah...
I'll tell you this though...another one of my friends ds is in grade 5 in another school...he's also being bullied..guess where that bully is going next year? yeah..same school as ours. There seems to be nothing that anyone can do to get the bullies to stop. Other than a good smack upside the head from the bullied kids.

Final word though..if the school and the parents aren't doing anything..call the cops and press charges. Or get yours to lay the smack down on him.:p Not much else you can do sadly.

amethyst
04-28-2007, 07:09 AM
k...was just talking to Austin...
I have two of the kids names that get "our bully" going.

He also said that if yours wants to "take a stand"...he'll stand right there and help him if he needs it. He's not afraid of the bully because they seem to get along okay. I asked him if he thought he might get hurt..he said "no,,i can defend myself" Then rolled his eyes at me lol. I have no doubt he can...he can take an adult down so i'm not worried either lol


One more thing.,,i know the situation..but what about trying..just trying it out..and being NICE to him. I know he's scared..but kill em with kindness? Maybe that's why Austin isn't having probs? he's nice to everyone? I don't know...maybe ask him to say "hi" to him BEFORE he gets pushy, or ask him about video games or something? Ask him what he did on the weekend? Anything. Most bullies are lonely, have no friends etc. I'm not saying they should be best friends..but maybe get him to try that? Just a little "hi, how ya doin'" once in awhile? Might get "our bully" to stop and think. It definately can't hurt to try.


if that don't work...smack him. :rofl:

okay...i'm kidding..actually i'm not...because i would get my kid to smack him.

girdy
04-28-2007, 07:28 AM
If your kid is being picked on, how about putting him/her in a class which teaches some sort of self-defense - judo, boxing, etc.. It'll help with self confidence, which is a good thing no matter what. And I generally think bullies bully people they can bully. But if your kid can (and will) smash his face, or throw him to the ground, a pretty good chance it's going to stop. I don't at all mean that your kid should become the agressor, but some knowledge of self-defense is a good thing.

amethyst
04-28-2007, 07:34 AM
this i agree with. My son is a black belt in taekwondo. He doesn't brag about it..but he's also never had a problem either. He's been in it since he was five.

If your kid is being picked on, how about putting him/her in a class which teaches some sort of self-defense - judo, boxing, etc.. It'll help with self confidence, which is a good thing no matter what. And I generally think bullies bully people they can bully. But if your kid can (and will) smash his face, or throw him to the ground, a pretty good chance it's going to stop. I don't at all mean that your kid should become the agressor, but some knowledge of self-defense is a good thing.

Woofer
04-28-2007, 09:07 AM
*reminder to self* be extra nice to amethyst or her son will give me the smackdown :)

amethyst
04-28-2007, 09:17 AM
LMAO! nah...he's so gentle and sweet lol. He definately doesn't go looking for trouble.

*but...you pick on mommy..and i won't be able to save you:rofl: *

kiddin'



or am i????:biggrin:

*reminder to self* be extra nice to amethyst or her son will give me the smackdown :)

aimee1lynn
04-28-2007, 11:35 AM
Girdy he is going into something this summer we just haven't decided what would be best .

Funny thing is shannon is they do talk and nicely LOL this kid has showed up here to play with him a few times a few months ago and we do allow him to come into our home hoping things will get better but it never does ..... dean was at the doctors 2 times this week alone and to the hospital thursday night ,,,, in gym class the bully pushed him down to the ground and hurt his leg ,,,,, he was also to the doctors for his headaches and then thursday bully pushed him down and stepped on his thumb 3 or 4 times and he may have a fracture in his thumb ,,,, it is swollen up twice it's normal size and purple

And I do know that some of this kids do get him going in and out of the class but I also think the teacher should have a little more control ,,,, one of these days he is going to drift a chair and someone is going to get hurt .

And I also think someone should be doing something to help this child he has anger issues and nobody is doing anything to help

I just think the school should do what they said they were going to do last time I was down there !! They assured me that if anything else happened he would be going to school half days (going home at lunch) and if that didn't work he would be home for the rest of the year .....
A few days after I was there another incident happened and now he goes home at 2pm ,,,,, thats not half days !! and the issues keep going and he is still at school .... he hurt dean in gym class last week and another little boy that the bully kicked between the legs and he didn't even get into trouble

If that was dean he would have been in sooo much trouble .... I just feel that because he has a tough home life they are making exceptions for him and I don't feel it is right

vanessalynn5484
04-28-2007, 01:20 PM
Whenever my aunt can not get the school to take action and is fed up she calls the news and the papers. You bring up a good point about a lot of issues.

Why doesn't the teacher have control?
Why isn't anyone helping this child with his anger issues?
Why is this child still in school and not in a program for children with his needs?

harbourchick07
04-29-2007, 07:28 PM
i was a victim of being bullied when i was younger i have failed grades and even left school one year to get my head on straight. in grade 10 i was bullied by a girl who wanted to fight me. she and a bunch of friends came up to me in gym class and got in my face i stood there and didnt blink it scared the crap outta them l used to run away and hide in a corner and cry or leave school and walk to my moms work and go home, but then my mom said that enough was enough and was talking to a girl (now my best friend) that had horses and asked her if i could go up to her house some days after school. I got so used to pushing horses around that when the girls did come up to me all i seen in front of me was a big ass horse lol and i stood there like nothing. when the girl threatened to hit me i said do it, she left and remarked that it didnt hurt lol. The girl never bullied me since then she has tried to be my friend lol.
Bulling is going to far now a days and schools are full of it. I am the god mother of my niece and her mother already nows that if she gets bullied that that bully will have to deal with me and so will the school administration. I have a Zero Tolerance for bullying and everyone who knows me knows that. I have already stuck up for kids i dont know who were being bullied.

SRC
05-01-2007, 04:11 PM
I'm sorry to hear about problems any of your kids are having with bullies. Confronting your school administration is not a bad idea, neither is writing letters to teachers, principles, the school board, hell write one to your MLA if you think it will help; but are you going to continue doing that for the rest of your childs life??
Bullies are everywhere, in all walks of life and you can't help your kid every time he encounters bullies, it's nonsence. If you want to help your kid out toughen him/her up, put them into sports, BUILD THEIR SELF ESTEEM AND CONFIDENCE, try some sort of self-defence class; whatever you decide, do it EARLY IN THEIR LIFE before much damage is done.
I can't say that I condone violence, but anyone that thinks self-defence is violence, get your head out of your @rse; if your kid doesn't stand up for itself then it is just an easy target and bullies love an easy target. I've had to take sh*t all my school years, I must have showed a reaction for them to continue, but when it turned to physical attacks I didn't hesitate to start swinging, needless to say I grew up fighting, I got in more fights than I could ever remember and there was only one that I picked and I was 19. Everytime I took a few swings at a bully, they ran, they usually found out I was tougher than anything they could do and it kept them from trying again.
If all else fails, tell your kid to kick the bully in the junk, yeah it's cruel, yeah it's immoral, yeah it just ain't right; but what's worse, your kid with emotional, phsychological, and physical injuries or someone's brat writhing around the floor in pain. Kick any male of ANY age enough times in the junk and he's going to stop doing what causes him to get kicked there, bullies may be mean but they're not THAT stupid. Bullies are definately missing something in their lives, the more problems they cause, and the more kids they hurt builds their ego, the best thing that can happen to their classmates is for one of them to kick the sh*t out of the bully.

mizunderstood
05-05-2007, 04:02 PM
I agree with the others.. if nothing has been done this far with the teacher, principle and school board, take it to the papers, the news, even to the MLA if need be! I know when we were in school we got ALOT of torment from the other kids cause we had "retarded kids" living with us (our parents were foster parents to special needs kids) I remember one day in particular after months of being bullied by one group of guys (5 years older than me for gosh sakes) my brother and I just snapped. We had enough. One day at school the guy had grabbed my brother and was literally punching him in the face, he had blood everywhere,he couldnt fight back cause he was being held down by 2 other guys . My brother (3 years younger than me) I took a text book that was on the desk and cracked him in the face with it. That made them all stop and look for a minute.. Then they all backed off, never had a problem with them again.. Mind u I am sure that my mommy had something major to do with that.. She had gone to the teacher, principle, school board (and my mom works for the school district so u can imagine what that was like for her) When no one would do anything she called up good ole *MLA* and I tell u within a couple days of her getting the call from my mom those kids were outta school PERMINATLY, and had charges on them as well... Bullying does start young, bullies know nothing but violence. And obviously since u have talked to the parents before and they are useless I would also call Early intervention, Child welfare, and everyone else I could think of to have that child removed from the home immediatly cause as someone else said "children learn what they live" and these parents don't seem to be working in their childs best interest by letting him live this destructive lifestyle.
IF all else fails and the only way to teach the bully a lesson have a bigger kid (say 5 years older) beat the livin snot outta them.. Myself I guarentee that I would be meeting the parents in a dark alley and give them a good ole "talking to" if they were aware of what their kid was doing and were allowing it to continue! I know 2 wrongs don't equal a right but it would make them all think twice about picking on another kid. No one messes with my kids or anyone elses kids I see for that matter.. I am the momma bear and I will protect my young AT ANY COST!

mcduff
05-05-2007, 05:30 PM
It must be nice to be self assured that you are right in what you are doing. If things don't go the way you want, you take matters into your own hands. Sounds like bullying behaviour to me.

Mandi
05-05-2007, 05:53 PM
It must be nice to be self assured that you are right in what you are doing. If things don't go the way you want, you take matters into your own hands. Sounds like bullying behaviour to me.
Whatever gets the job done! I would much rather see that bully get his butt kicked by someone else, then see the kid they're tormenting daily come into school with a gun, and well... you can use your imagination for the rest.
Bullying a bully works, I don't like that it does, but it does. I prefer talking it out and seeing what their underlying problem is, but a good butt whooping does the job. -shrug- ( and no, I'm not a violent person )

mcduff
05-05-2007, 05:57 PM
It doesn't work! It justs creates an atmosphere of violence and vigilanty justice. Then everytime someone looks at you in a way you don't like, you say they are bullying me and I am going to hit them! I see this attitude every day!

mizunderstood
05-05-2007, 06:49 PM
Originally Posted by mcduff
It must be nice to be self assured that you are right in what you are doing. If things don't go the way you want, you take matters into your own hands. Sounds like bullying behaviour to me

I believe I that I was totally in the right to beat this guy with a book after seeing my brother lying on a classroom floor bleeding to death. But I do not agree with attacking your bully unless there are no other options. For us we dealt with this day in and day out for almost the whole school year. My mom had already gone through the channels to get them to stop picking on us, and no one could help. It was only after this final attack that she was told to take it up with the MLA which she did and results happened... But how much should children have to take and deal with before someone says enough is enough? The funny part of this whole situation was that the guy tried to press charges on me for hitting him with a book, and the judge LAUGHED at him. WE had documented everything all year and had drs reports and hospital records and everything.. He had nothing. I definatly don't believe that violence is the solution to everything but when it comes to physically or mentally harming a child and nothing else can or will be done, sometimes (as in my case) brute force is the only answer a bully understands..
P.S. My parents STILL look after those "retarded kids" (as my bullies referred to them) and many have gone on to live happy healthy lives.
What would u do when no one is there to save ur life or ur family members life? How far would u go? I knew that day if I did not do anything to stop them, they would have killed my brother. I have no doubt in my mind. But basically what i am saying to the original poster is take it as high as u need to go, papers, tv, mla, whatever.. do not let this go on it can only end badly.

Originally Posted by mcduff
It doesn't work! It justs creates an atmosphere of violence and vigilanty justice. Then everytime someone looks at you in a way you don't like, you say they are bullying me and I am going to hit them! I see this attitude every day!

There is a difference between using violence as retailiation and using it as self defence.

mcduff
05-05-2007, 07:13 PM
With

mcduff
05-05-2007, 07:14 PM
With regard to the incident with your brother...that was self defense. With regard to having an older child "beat the livin snot out of a bully" to teach them a lesson....that is unacceptable